These wingnuts are absolutely convinced that human life begins at conception, but when it comes to global warming and Obama’s citizenship — we just can’t be sure.

The Secessionist will try to stop the bleeding at tonight’s Republican debate in Las Vegas, but he’s got his work cut out for him: his campaign is folding like a cheap suit.

Wow. I didn’t think the Secessionists could get any whinier after Anita cried about how mean everyone was being to her husband the other day. I was wrong.

Immigration will doom the Secessionist’s campaign. Willard is already running attack ads against him on the issue, and now, Texas Teabaggers — who never liked the Secessionist — are piling on, too.

So I imagine by now, most folks have heard that Willard proclaimed at the Iowa State Fair that corporations are people. In light of this (and SCOTUS rulings on corporate personhood), I and some other folks on an email thread started identifying various political movements, documents, songs, and other bits of popular culture that need to be revised to reflect this equivalency. I have gleefully and willfully stolen most all of the following from these friends.

Add yours.

At this rate, the GOP is going to have to give Willard two podiums at the next debate.

Despite his best efforts, Willard the Morman still has an “Evangelical problem.”

It’s a given that Republican candidates for president must visit Israel and kiss Benjamin Netanyahu’s ring. Willard did it, so has Huck — who called Bebe “one of the world’s great leaders” — as has The Quitter just this week. And they always heap praise on the far-right Israeli Prime Minister, and sometimes take swipes at Obama. And who is this man they’re siding with over their own country?

Anyone think this is going to think the teabaggers are going to buy this? I think a better approach would’ve been to simply mea culpa — just say the whole thing was a mistake and apologize. Or blame Ted Kennedy. But Willard, who’s flip-flopped on everything from abortion to civil unions, might be thinking he’s already taken one too many mulligans as it is. And you can bet Mike Huckabee, The Quitter, and Mitch Daniels are licking their chops.

It’s tempting to dismiss this report as far-fetched, but with today’s Republican Party, there’s no such thing as too crazy.