The Fortress of Derpitude

By: Wednesday May 22, 2013 1:05 pm

In case you weren’t aware of it, Captain Super Muslim XXX (in his guise as mild-mannered President No Drama Obama) took time out from his busy past few weeks having the IRS audit-murder reporters in Benghazi in order to take control of the world’s weather systems and send a killer tornado to Oklahoma yesterday. Oh , here let Rand Paul’s BFF Alex Jones explain it to you.

 

Strange Synchronicity or Vast Left Wing Gun-grabbing Conspiracy?

By: Monday January 28, 2013 6:30 pm

Investigative reporter and “too smart for Mensa” boy genius Matt Boyle seems to have discovered an assault on our very American way of life where others would only see a weird co-inky-dink.

Muslim Terror-Mullahs Only Want to Deal With Their Own Kind Now

By: Sunday October 21, 2012 7:40 am

In an effort to throw the election to their Kenyan sleeper agent so they can export Sharia law to Kansas (and only Kansas because the A-Rabs have a real hard-on for the Godforsaken Hellhole State for some reason) the mad mullahs of Iran have ululated a desire to enter into nuclear talks with the US… but they want to wait until after the election to see who wins first because they think that Mitt Romney is a thin-skinned pissy douchebot with a creepy family too.

The Bank Dick

By: Thursday August 9, 2012 4:00 pm

Remember when NPR got all huffy-puffy when Lisa Simeone, the host of World of Opera got all in trouble and stuff because she supported Occupy Wall Street by hate-playing La bohème (which is an Italian communist opera based upon the popular American musical Rent) over and over until banksters started to feel twinges of guilt that they quickly got over by strangling a hooker in the back of a limo? Yeah, there was some kind of ethical/conflict of interest thing problem, by which we mean the financial institutions who underwrite NPR were mildly chafed by Simeone’s obstreperousness.

Well say hello to Adam Davidson of NPR’s Planet Money and the New York Times.

Eight Can Keep a Secret if That Ratfink Alito Is Kept Out of the Loop

By: Saturday January 28, 2012 1:00 pm

According to “one of America’s fastest rising authors” (it says so right here and it is on the internet so it must be true) it seems that President Hussein Obamar has been using Black Panther beat-down threats or maybe even Kenyan magic juju to enslave most of the Supreme Court so that they won’t declare him a foreign usurper and therefore rule his presidency null and void, tap tap no erasies.

All Conspiracies Great and Small

By: Thursday July 14, 2011 7:13 pm

In an effort to explain why the jury in the Kenny Gladney trial took less than the time it takes to watch an episode Law & Order: Special Victims Unit to return with a verdict of GTFO, Andrew Breitbart’s crack team of trained bonobos have been working day and night and even through their naptimes to explain what malignant force in the universe has the power to not only corrupt our system of justice but also to defy the laws of time and space and physics and no rights turns on a red.

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