Depending on what you read, the Occupy Oakland protests last night were either a resounding success or a chaotic mess. Let’s piece together what happened.

In a shocking turn of events, the Republican Party has fired Osama bin Laden from his long-term position as Chief Fearmonger & Boogeyman. Mr. bin Laden received a letter earlier this afternoon informing him that his services will no longer be required, citing three principal reasons for his dismissal:

Fun’s fun ’til somebody blows up a house.