Thanks to last weekend’s “Values Voters” Summit, I am learning that I am not an ordinary gay American. Apparently I am Darth Vader: evil, out to destroy the Republic, and a threat to public health.

“That’s GOP territory,” Cantor did not add. “When it comes to class war, the GOP is the clear leader. Others tread at their own risk.”

Of course the guy wanted to give you a rug, Mike. You were there with Blackhawk helicopters, having closed the market to all but your security detail, and were accompanied by the man who might (possibly) be the next President of the United States.