There is a hole in the middle of the Gulf. It is a hole of death, starting with the eleven oil rig workers killed in the initial explosion, and continuing with the marine life of the Gulf. The National Marine Fisheries Service has been closing ever-larger portions of the US Gulf waters to fishing — now up to 32% of them — because the oil still flows from that hole of death.

The latest gambit by BP to plug the underwater volcano in the Gulf has “hit a snag,” according to Interior Secretary Ken Salazar. The President has sent in a ragtag bunch of scientists, engineers and MacGruber to brainstorm the mess. It’s depressing that the long-awaited, much-anticipated Apollo Project for energy has been reduced to coming up with a way to stop a fountain of oil at the bottom of the sea. By the way, has nobody thought of my solution, to put the Pacific Garbage Patch to good use by just airlifting it over the floating oil island? Win-win!