Jesus’s angry older brother Bill Donohue sat up all last night wishing and hoping and thinking and praying that blasphemer Jon Stewart would give him a call in order to apologize for his televised slur against the holiest of holies (vaginas, hoohahs, va-jayjays, Play-Doh and bacon mash-ups) but Stewart did not call and Bill Donohue is not about to turn the other cheek [Matthew 5:38-42] like that big homo Jesus kind of suggested.