Despite being the “best little whore in Texas” — The Secessionist is running out of dough.

Glad to see the legacy media is picking up on what I’ve been saying for years — that the Secessionist decries “socialism” out of one side of his mouth while the other side is sucking on the federal teat.

The complete implosion of the Secessionist on the national stage and the subsequent rise of the Pizza Guy has just been too much for some wingers to take. They’re looking at those polls showing the Pizza Guy still leading Willard, and wondering how the hell they came to be totally surrounded by crazy people.

If you’re running for president and getting headlines like this one in The Week, when Politico calls your speech “bizarre” — and when the cast of “Morning Joe” speculates that you’re mixing pain killers and booze — you’re doing it wrong.

If the Secessionist is too scared to stand up to Mitt Romney, how’s he going stand up to China?

The Secessionist, whose half-baked, Steve Forbes leftovers are bombing at the National Review (!) — is really pulling out all the stops to become the Teabaggers’ preferred candidate.

These wingnuts are absolutely convinced that human life begins at conception, but when it comes to global warming and Obama’s citizenship — we just can’t be sure.

So how did they all do? “I don’t see anyone galvanizing people like they did for Mike Huckabee,” said Steve Scheffler, president of the event’s sponsor and a leading social conservative activist in Iowa. “And I’d be lying if I told you that can change in one event.”

Well, it was fun while it lasted. Here’s the Pizza Guy talking to Piers Morgan last night about abortion.

The Secessionist will try to stop the bleeding at tonight’s Republican debate in Las Vegas, but he’s got his work cut out for him: his campaign is folding like a cheap suit.