The uncomfortable truth that some of our founding fathers owned human beings to work their fields, clean and cook in their homes, and serve as forced concubines has upset the Tennessee Tea Party. So the Tea Party wants the textbooks to have a new way of portraying the ”Minority Experience In History.”

That’s right, a guy who pocketed $300,000 to shill for Freddie & Fannie, ran up a six-figure tab at Tiffany, and who’s been part of the Washington establishment for 32 years — this is the guy Teabaggers want to put in the White House.

I see the wingnuts are running around trying to tie the Occupy Wall Street movement with Nazis and Communists. Oh, this is going to be fun.

One of the best byproducts of the Occupy Wall Street protests is that they’ve made Republicans show their true colors. America is watching as they cast off the faux right-wing populism of the Teabaggers — which was always a pose — and unabashedly embrace the monied oligarchy.

Immigration will doom the Secessionist’s campaign. Willard is already running attack ads against him on the issue, and now, Texas Teabaggers — who never liked the Secessionist — are piling on, too.

Like a bunch of happy pigs rolling around in the mud, conservatives are really reveling in their anti-government fanaticism this week. After Marco Rubio (R-FL) explained how the Great Society and New Deal made the United States a nation of weaklings, Ron Paul (R-TX) declared that we don’t need FEMA and that things were like, way better in 1900. But amidst all this crazy, one particularly wingnutty remark stands out.

Remember when the Secessionist called Social Security (and Medicare and Medicaid) a “Ponzi scheme” and wrote a book about how unconstitutional it was. Well, he takes it all back.

Forget all that talk about minivans and barely making ends meet. There’s one reason the House Tea Party Caucus does right by millionaires when they stand up and have their votes counted. They are millionaires.

So, as we’ve known for a couple months, the Secessionist is running for president. I predict he’ll immediately become the anyone-but-Willard candidate/Teabagger favorite, and essentially knock Michele “Slavery Wasn’t So Bad” Bachmann out of the race. But as the RedStaters celebrate the arrival of their Savior, I’ve got a few questions.

Right now, the United States government is being held hostage by fundamentalist fanatics like this.