Sink To The Bottom With You

By: Thursday December 20, 2012 8:37 am

What is the difference between Loomis’ non-advocacy of death and Glenn Reynolds genocidal wet dream?

The difference, of course, is that Glenn Reynolds can speak freely because he is a tenured professor and Loomis is not, which means that Loomis can’t fight back without severely impacting his future in academia. It is for that reason, out of all of the mean comments posted on the internet about the NRA’s Wayne LaPierre after yet another wholesale gun slaughter in America, that Michelle Malkin picked on Loomis. You see, Michelle Malkin likes the victims of her twitchy rage-gasms to be helpless.

 

Dick Cheney Healthy Enough to Resume Multi-State Killing Spree

By: Saturday December 8, 2012 7:40 am

Remorseless killer-robot Dick “Dick” Cheney wants everyone to know that he is tanned, rested, and ready to resume the indiscriminate killing of all creatures great and small.

When You’re Wounded and Left on Afghanistan’s Plains …

By: Friday October 12, 2012 6:45 am

It goes without saying that I thought ol’ Smilin’ Joe Biden kicked that young whippersnapper Paul Ryan’s be-hind from here to Janesville and back Thursday night. A belief that was mirrored by our old buddy John Hinderaker.

The Mysteries of The Female Organism

By: Sunday August 19, 2012 4:00 pm

Fucking lady plumbing, how does it work?

Todd Akin, who is the Republican nominee for Senate in Missouri, explains all of those things that you didn’t learn in eighth grade sex ed, probably because you were too busy giggling at diagrams of penises and saying “vagina, vagina, vagina” over and over again in your head.

Tell us about lady stuff, Todd.

Friend of the Devil

By: Thursday June 14, 2012 1:13 pm

If Jerry Sandusky had coached at Notre Dame, he’d probably be going to see Justin Bieber tonight…

Calvin Freiburger Does Not Care for Your Vagina Bowling Name

By: Tuesday May 1, 2012 4:27 pm

Forced birth homunculus Calvin Freiburger, who is a member of the HeartBeat Teens (which is surprisingly not a sexy boy-band), wishes to express his distaste with ladies who take their vaginas out for an evening of abortion bowling.

Dreamy Paul Ryan Breaks Up With His Special Lady, Now Available

By: Thursday April 26, 2012 1:00 pm

Dreamy zombie-eyed granny-starver™ Paul Ryan has shrugged off (ha! get it?) his longtime girlfriend, nicotine-stained dominatrix Ayn Rand, after many years of masturbating to the now deceased crone’s girlhood journals. It seems that no amount of ‘trains going into tunnels’ and scenes of capitalism rape could give Ryan the “Reardon Steel” boners he once enjoyed with such childish delight and now he just wants to cuddle, maybe watch Lifetime.

Bill Donohue’s Vagina Crusade Cannot Be Stopped

By: Thursday April 19, 2012 6:30 pm

Jesus’s angry older brother Bill Donohue sat up all last night wishing and hoping and thinking and praying that blasphemer Jon Stewart would give him a call in order to apologize for his televised slur against the holiest of holies (vaginas, hoohahs, va-jayjays, Play-Doh and bacon mash-ups) but Stewart did not call and Bill Donohue is not about to turn the other cheek [Matthew 5:38-42] like that big homo Jesus kind of suggested.

Rick Santorum Suggests That When Life Gives You Rape, You Should Make Rapeanade

By: Tuesday January 24, 2012 7:24 pm

Twisted version of a living thinking human being Rick Santorum is not a “the uterus is half empty”-kind of guy. To him the uterus should always be popping out babies like a Pez dispenser because, what are women after all, besides elaborately constructed EZ Bake Ovens for man batter. And if you happened to be raped (which Rick, always angling for the lady vote, thinks is “horrible”) well you should look at the bright side of things.

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