Just like herpes, Snowbilly Snooki is back!

This time to save us from the Godless Heathens and Muslims who profane Our Lord and Savior’s Sacred Birthday with gift-giving that is not limited to giving frankincense, myrrh, and gold (from Kay Jewelers) to the Baby Jesus. And also so she can make a little extra pin money off the rubes because mama needs a new pair of Naughty Monkey fuck-me pumps.

Whereas I will busy with other things and whereas Thursday is Thanksgiving Day and YOU DON’T NEED TO BE ON THE COMPUTER, here is your Thanksgiving post until later Thursday night when I return with Basset blogging.

Bill Kristol’s dumb son-in-law is very very disappointed in alleged lady assassin Mitt “Mitt” Romney’s allegedly well-oiled operation because it seems to be allegedly completely unprepared to explain itself/manage crises effectively/anticipate attacks/counter-attack and wage all-out war.

Former reality show novelty act and dabbler in political stuff, Sarah Palin will be briefly “co-hosting” The Today Show Tuesday with the show’s regular host, the tragic hairline of Matt Lauer.

J-Pod blames Nicolle Wallace for throwing one-heartbeat-away-from-the-Presidency Sarah Palin to the ravening claws of Katie Couric.

When we last saw Big Hollywood’s John Nolte he was trying to convince his readers that the Sarah Palin’s softcore fan-porn The 3-For$10 DVD Clearance-binned was the greatest political documentary ever made and that Hollyweird didn’t want you to know this important fact because they’re a bunch of elitist commie homos who couldn’t even carry Sarah’s grandma thong. Sadly, even Big Ho readers weren’t buying it.

Novelty candidate and has-been reality show contestant Sarah Palin always said that if she were going to run for Super Ultra Max Queen of Real America she would run an unconventional campaign, and now that the Republican clown car is stalling on a hill, she’s come out of her Arizona Meth Castle and is helping by pouring some of that sweet sugar of hers in the gas tank.

A group of Iowaninions, frustrated with the current occupants of the Republican Clown Car (2012 or bust!), are making a pitch for a new candidate to save them from the socialist who will shove government healthcare down everyone’s throats (we’re speaking, of course, about Mitt Romney) so they have purchased radio time on many of Iowa’s radio stations to urge Ioweens to vote “rogue.”

Just as interest in Sarah Palin has moved into the day-old discount bin, so has novelty memorabilia about her. But this doesn’t mean that she’s going to leave a nickel on the table before she is swept kicking and screaming in that awful voice of hers into the dustbin of has beens.

Grandma Grifter/Snowbilly Snooki/Caribou Barbie/Bible Spice (take yer pick) Sarah Palin is not running for President and now we will never have to hear about her or from her ever again for the rest of our lives.

Ha ha. Fat chance.