Prince Poppycock is important for America because he makes a statement just by being himself and performing in full outrageous historical drag. On September 7 Poppycock showcased a message, singing a medley of “The Star Bangled Banner,” “Yankey Doodle Boy” and “Stars and Stripes Forever” while images of American civil liberty heroes Susan B. Anthony, Rosa Parks and Harvey Milk screened behind him. America loved it, and voted yet again to keep him in the competition and into the finals.

Our lives are filled to the brim; we have literally hundreds if not thousands of pieces of media throw up at us every single day. We don’t have a single moment to spare to figure out what to pay attention to. It’s mind-boggling. So, here, tonight, right on our stage, Aunt Toby is going to give you The Guide to the Un-News using today’s headlines (sort of like “The Guide to the Recently Deceased” only the bodies involved probably stink more).