A Proportional Response

By: Saturday December 20, 2014 10:00 am

Yesterday’s remarks about North Korea at Obama’s press conference were nice, but something more is clearly needed. ​A well-placed source provided FDL with a document purporting to be a memo from Obama to his senior staff, drafted yesterday after the press conference. I have been unable to independently confirm its authenticity, as trying to do so would reveal my source — and we all know how well the WH likes leakers. The memo’s goal is to take the fight to North Korea in a new and different manner than has been done before. “People want a proportional response? Fine . . .”

 

Imagine; A Satire

By: Saturday November 29, 2014 6:40 pm

Imagine America is being reported upon in another country, being reported upon by that country’s heavily government-influenced press. Imagine that that country has at least as much or more military might than America actually does, and imagine that that same country has had , let’s just say “serious differences,” with the American government for a long, long, time. Imagine that what recently happened in Ferguson, Missouri, was being described by that other country’s news media in an editorial. Can you?

I can.

FDL Book Salon Welcomes Matt Farwell, discussion about Michael Hastings and The Last Magazine

By: Saturday November 15, 2014 1:59 pm

EDITORS NOTE: This Book Salon will be rescheduled. Apologies for the interruption.

Michael Hastings’ The Last Magazine, is a scathing satire and indictment of the way the New York / DC big media world works. When I first read it, in an all-nighter months after his death, it was an amazing surprise: he was gone but his voice was still out there, and for a good 80,000 words completely new and fresh. Anyone halfway familiar with the New York / DC news and media apparatus will recognize the characters behind the characters. Hopefully the way they’re portrayed is as disturbing to you as it was to me—as essentially out-of-touch, solipsistic, preening weenies, who for some reason we keep listening to on TV & Radio and reading in print.

Shrinking the Empire: A Session on the Imperial Couch

By: Wednesday November 12, 2014 5:58 pm

Doctor: Would you like to tell me why you’re here?

American Empire: Well, Doc, I’m feeling a little off. To tell you the truth, I’m kind of confused, even a little dizzy some of the time.

Doctor: When did you first experience symptoms of dizziness?

AE: I think it was all the pivoting that did it. First I was pivoting out of Iraq. Then I was pivoting out of Afghanistan. Then I was pivoting to Asia. Then I was secretly pivoting to Africa. Then all of a sudden I was pivoting into Iraq again, and Syria, and Afghanistan, and… well, you get the picture.

Satire: Everyone Hates America’s New Album

By: Thursday September 25, 2014 2:02 pm

Sales figures prove what many already feared: worldwide acceptance of the United States’ new album, “We Will Bomb You, Because” has fallen through the floor.

“Dude, I grew up on the classic U.S. sound, you remember, democracy, equality, promotion of freedom. My favorite was ‘The Peace Corps,’ but ‘We Won’t Invade You This Month’ got me through some rough times in college. But this new stuff, meh,” said one long-time fan, sweeping aside his gray ponytail.

China to Buy Entire Fortune 500

By: Sunday July 13, 2014 1:00 pm

China today tendered an offer for all 500 of the US top 500 companies, with the exception of defense and Information Technology companies.

China described as US defense companies as “Departments of the United States,” inefficient and unable to produce goods which meet China’s cost and quality standards. The IT companies, which became famous for their profit-margin-by-outsourcing strategies, were dismissed as being hotbeds of Indian Ideals and Activism.

Late Night: Obama Announces New War Plan for Iraq

By: Friday June 20, 2014 8:00 pm

Today, the White House has announced a new war plan for Iraq, with a new Secretary of Defense, a new commanding General, and the clear identification of the leader of ISIS (or ISIL), in Northern Iraq.

US Suspects Balkan Floods Caused by Al Qaeda

By: Wednesday May 21, 2014 3:34 pm

Satire in response to the devastating floods in the Balkans, where they’ve received 3 months’ rain in 3 days (making California and most of the Western US Jealous), the US Government is on the alert for the perpetrators.

NRA Announces a Solution for Botched Death Penalty

By: Tuesday May 6, 2014 6:59 pm

To fulfill the need for complete disclosure the NRA executive have an option to purchase the third largest ammunition suppler in the US, to help the Militated Firing Squads fully execute their duties.

Americans for Prosperity Announces the Neo-Libertarian Platform

By: Sunday April 27, 2014 6:40 pm

Following The Koch Supremes’ (The Koch Enterprise’s Band) latest decision on campaign funding, Americans for Prosperity have announced a new neo-libertarian platform for their new acquisition, The House of Representatives.

The announcement includes recognition by America for Prosperity that based on Modern Monetary Theory, Government is the true source of wealth, and taxes are social programs.

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