Love In The House Of Spy

By: Tuesday November 13, 2012 6:04 am

I am pleased to see that the media have filled the yawning void that looms before them following the conclusion of the presidential horse race election by getting all het up over a semi-sexy tale of spies and the dames who want to bump uglies with them.

 

Ebony On Ivory Suppression in Action: The Blackening

By: Tuesday November 6, 2012 1:15 pm

John Hinderaker is upset because A SCARY BLACK PANTHER GANGBANGER/DRUG LORD/MAU MAU is keeping white America from voting for other white people like the Founding Fathers intended. If only we had video of this savage animal forcibly stopping elderly white women from entering their polling place. Oh, wait . . .

Second Verse, Worse as the First

By: Monday October 15, 2012 2:00 pm

I bet you woke up this morning wondering, “Hey. How did Atlas Shrugged Part II: The Sequeling do at the box office this weekend?”. Then you probably got distracted and went in search of Pop-Tarts and, what kind of Communist asshole buys strawberry Pop-Tarts without the icing? Might as well eat some fucking quinoa with sprout sprinkles or something.

Gang Ann Style

By: Tuesday October 9, 2012 2:15 pm

Smug future-dowager queen Ann Romney is very sick and tired of You People not loving that man of hers like she loves that man of hers, so she and her gang of lying-ass sons, led by eldest crazy-eyed blank-shooter Tarkus, held down Romney campaign chief strategist (I know… I was surprised they had a “strategy” too) Stuart Stevens and cut off his hair influence:

Gallup X and H. Rap Quinnipiac

By: Friday October 5, 2012 9:00 am

According to the “abnormal pocket originating in the skin that usually contains hair, skin debris and other abnormal tissue which is located near the tailbone at the top of the cleft of the buttocks and is known to cause pain and discharges”, and that is also known as Rush Limbaugh, American cities will be on flame with rock ‘n roll the grievous shouts and cries of obstreperous blah people if their Kenyan Warlord is denied his righteous claim to The Iron Throne of The Boss Of All Of Us on November 6th.

Tucker Carlson: Eric Holder and His Bitchin’ ‘Fro Was Once an Angry Black Man

By: Monday October 1, 2012 2:35 pm

Apparently, in a speech, Holder once said he participated in the ROTC occupation when he was a senior BUT IT REALLY HAPPENED WHEN HE WAS A FRESHMAN which can only mean that Holder is LYING ABOUT EVERYTHING and has actually been packing heat since 1970 and up until recently when he disarmed himself and gave all of his guns for free to the Mexicans because Eric Holder is a complicated man and no one understands him but his woman.

Matthew Boyle Needs a New Hobby
And Are You Going to Eat the Rest of Those Fries?

By: Saturday September 22, 2012 8:35 am

Future Nobel Prize Winner for Journalism and certified “genius” (according to one of the guys at Buzzfeed – probably the LOLcat Editor) Matthew Boyle has a lot of time on his hands after it turned out that Attorney General Eric Holder wasn’t the head of Mexico’s largest and most violent drug/gun/counterfeit plaster Hello Kitty piggy-bank cartel, so now Matt’s just kind of hanging around the office, checking out what everyone else is doing, sitting in his cubicle working on his paperclip chain-mail for this weekend’s Ye Olde Renaissance Faire & Car Swappe Meete, and seeing how many Rolos he can shove in his mouth at one time.

Too Failed To Bail

By: Thursday September 20, 2012 7:15 pm

Remember when some of the banksters who destroyed the world wide financial system demanded to receive their bonuses or they would show regulators where the bodies were buried?

Welcome to failing industry, #Romneyshambles LLC.

Enter The Newt

By: Tuesday September 18, 2012 6:00 pm

As you may heard from the LAMESTREAM MEDIA, Mitt Romney’s campaign has hit a few bumps/had a couple of setbacks/haven’t put their best foot forward as of late/is a ticking time bomb with only four seconds left on the counter and no one knows whether to cut the red wire or the green wire and WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE, MAN! I MEAN GAME OVER, MAN! as of late. This kind of thing happens all of the time in multimillion dollar high stakes national campaigns staffed by highly competent and professional people with years of experience in electing the leaders of tomorrow.

It is also happening at Romney HQ.

Christine O’Donnell’s Gathering of Juggalos for Troublemaking Youth

By: Monday August 20, 2012 7:00 pm

Perpetually unemployed lil dumplin’ Christine O’Donell was on Soledad O’Brien’s Whack-A-Conservative show this morning promoting her latest endeavor to get someone to put her up in a hotel for a few days so that she can raid the honor bar before crashing on a friend’s couch again until she gets a call back from Olive Garden about that hostess job that she applied for back in February.

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