Ladies and Gentleman, Alan “310 Million Tits” Simpson, whose plan to gut our country’s safety net is being embraced by President Obama, thinks the AARP is a “cruel organization” full of “marketers,” not “patriots.” That said, Simpson, aged 79, really likes the AARP’s magazine, especially “their article on sex over 80. Hell, I thought that was amazing.”

Yesterday Steve Benen and Josh Marshall drew attention to the story of a far-right militiaman who’s opposed to “socialism” and “government handouts” in the abstract, but is perfectly happily to live of government disability checks–money which, to be fair, and as Benen points out, he is absolutely entitled to.

On May 1, 2003, unbeknownst to you, conflict in Iraq was over. Or so said the Man Who Would Be President, John McCain:

CAVUTO: … Senator, “after a conflict” means “after the conflict,” and many argue the conflict isn’t over.

MCCAIN: Well, then why was there a banner that said ‘mission accomplished’ on the aircraft carrier?