Now Playing For The Bargain Bin Blues…

By: Monday May 20, 2013 2:15 pm

Attentive reader Sean D. sends us news from afar about how afar Juicebox Jesus has a’fallen.


There Will Be Teblood: This Is Just Getting Sad Now

By: Sunday November 11, 2012 11:30 am

Based upon the fact that Tebow has been in on only 60 more offensive snaps this year than my mom has, maybe it’s time to devote the weekly NFL post to someone seeing more on-field action such as the long-snapper for the Browns.

There Will Not Be Teblood: The Week-Offening

By: Sunday November 4, 2012 11:30 am

God has given him lemons, and he is making Special Teams-ade with them.

There Will Be Teblood: Get Thee Behind Me On The Depth Chart, Satan

By: Sunday October 14, 2012 11:50 am

All you need to know about why the Jets have not turned to God’s Less Magical Son to save them from Non-Playoff Hell can be seen in this weeks quarterback ratings.

There Will Be Teblood: Jesus on the Primetime, Tell Him What You Want

By: Monday October 8, 2012 6:04 pm

Skip Bayless confesses to a love/hate relationship with Juicebox Jesus.

There Will Be Teblood: The Ninering

By: Sunday September 30, 2012 11:50 am

Lil Timmy may get some more playing time this week against the Niners

There Will Be Teblood: The Non-Flinging-ning

By: Sunday September 23, 2012 11:40 am

Last week, the the euphoria of the Jet’s opening game blow-out over Buffalo plummeted to the ground with the wobbly explosiveness of a Tim Tebow outlet pass on third and long. Through the first two weeks of the season the NFL’s most expensive novelty player has exactly as many passing attempts and completions as my mom, although Timmy did have one carry for 22 yards against the Steelers which is one more yard than Chris Johnson has in 19 attempts over two games. Kudos, back-up fullback and special teams pawn.

The Return of the Son of There Will Be Teblood: The Jettisoning

By: Sunday September 9, 2012 12:15 pm

It’s that time of year again. Juicebox Jesus is in NYC as a back-up (as was foretold in the Book of Overthrows 3: long), and already Mark Sanchez has passed for two touchdowns (no small miracle, that) because God IS TESTING TIMMY by keeping him on the bench.

Calvin Freiburger Does Not Care for Your Vagina Bowling Name

By: Tuesday May 1, 2012 4:27 pm

Forced birth homunculus Calvin Freiburger, who is a member of the HeartBeat Teens (which is surprisingly not a sexy boy-band), wishes to express his distaste with ladies who take their vaginas out for an evening of abortion bowling.

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