What worries me is that Brooks will take these true confessions about adultery and death and life among the ruins and he’ll use them as source material to fashion yet another novel where couples will ” taste each other’s saliva and then collect genetic information.”

I come from a family of academics who are actually intellectually intimidating.

I was sad because I had no job until I met a dilettante who was forced to sit on a couch and stare at a laptop while typing continually wrong stuff about everything for A WHOLE WEEKEND.

Matt spent the evening with the McSuedermans where McMegan served Frito-Chili pie that she whipped up in the food processor (while explaining that her grandmother could not have done this in the forties because people back then didn’t have food processors, Frito’s, chili, or pie) while Peter spent the evening in front of a full-length mirror modeling hipster hats while practicing his look of bemused detachment just in case someone brought up poor children not receiving medical care. Later they sat around drinking craft beers from a microbrewery.

Young fresh-faced Congressman Ben Quayle waxes metaphorical in his freshman class Reagan Day essay: “When I was a child, President Ronald Reagan was the nice man who gave us jelly beans when we visited the White House.”

I do so enjoy reading our new buddy, Michael Knox Beran, who waxes philosophical every time he gets a boner over each and every Tea Bagger FemBot who wanders down the pike. One imagines him sitting in a large comfy leather chair in his book-lined study, idly flipping through many an expensive tome seeking out a lyrical mot juste with which to honor the latest lady of his loins. Finding it, he closes his eyes in silent reverie while gently swirling his snifter of cognac, savoring the moment before masturbating like a capuchin monkey on a weekend Viagra bender.

Taxpayer supported occasional law perfesser Glenn Reynolds is very worried that rogue members of academia may secretly be evil geniuses who seek to destroy their fellow man…