So how was your Christmas?

Really?

Are you sure?

Because our girl McMegan is here to tell you that your Christmas actually sucked harder than a Hard Sucking Machine (Hammacher Schlemmer, Christmas 2012 catalog – page 37 – bottom right corner) and wasn’t near as winter wonderland wonderful as hers was. Ready to be diminished by being told that your family and friends are a bunch of hapless but well-meaning doofuses who wouldn’t know a b├ęchamel from a sauce foyot?