NYT Culture Hate Hate Hated That Gay Math Wizard Guy

By: Monday July 22, 2013 6:30 pm

As you may have heard, Nate Silver, who is the Punxsutawney Phil of electoral prognosticators, emerging from his Fortress of Gay Mathmagic every four years to choose our president for us so that we have more time to devote to eating Hot Pockets, watching reality teevee shows, and developing diabetes foot, has taken leave from the New York Time to join ESPN where he will explain wins against replacement (WAR) and Defense-Independent Component ERA to Skip Bayless until he explodes in a flash of blue smoke that smells like fried Slim Jims.

Baby Please Don’t Go

By: Wednesday May 29, 2013 2:55 pm

Unwitting hubby beard and former baby harvester Michele Bachmann is calling it quits, hanging ‘em up, running away, pulling the plug, hitting the road after derailing her own crazy train, and bugging out way more than usual.

Roberts Court Agrees to Go Balls Deep in the Gay

By: Friday December 7, 2012 1:15 pm

Good news/bad news for the gays as the 6 out of 9 Catholic Supreme Court justices have agreed to decide whether non-opposite marriage is kosher with the dead founding fathers.

Mitt Romney Don’ Know Nothin’ ‘Bout Birthin’ No Gay Babies

By: Sunday October 28, 2012 8:35 am

Previously former Governor Mitt “Mitt” Romney did not understand how the Gheys were having their gay babies together, what with the matched sets of vags and peens; how does this work? Nowadays he can just have a father/spawn talk with son Tagg “Tagg” Romney about these how fake babies are made and suddenly, for Mitt, all of those all those old turkey baster jokes would make sense.

Charming Older Man Singing Ditty About Obama Having Gay Mouth Sex

By: Saturday October 6, 2012 11:00 am

Tucker Carlson wishes he had found this video first…

SpongeBob Wept

By: Thursday August 23, 2012 5:40 pm

Nancy French, most famous for writing the book Shit Bristol Palin Mumbles, wants to warn you that a new Hollywood cartoon movie is trying to shove homosexuality down your precious baby’s throat. In this case, it would be the movie ParaNorman.

Anderson Cooper Has Been Gaycasting On Your TV For Years

By: Tuesday July 3, 2012 10:30 am

Hearing about Anderson Cooper’s outing, Brent Bozell, who got his start serving under closeted gay Terry Dolan, sent his wingman Tim Graham on a gay spelunking tour of Anderson Cooper’s homoeuvre looking for examples of Anderson covertly shoving his Cooper down America’s throat.

Everybody Must Get Stoned

By: Sunday February 12, 2012 5:00 pm

Closeted Gay Turtle Mitch McConnell joins the No Condom For You Lunch Bunch.

Herman Cain’s Wang Creates Opening For Santorum

By: Thursday November 3, 2011 5:15 pm

The Washington Post’s Jennifer Rubin takes time out from making shit up about Muslims to point out that Rick Santorum is very likely to benefit from Herman Cain’s penchant for taking subordinates back to his sexytime pad (aka Double Sausage Central) and hittin’ it doggy-style.

Tim Pawlenty Leaving Door Open to Maybe Gay Marrying Some Dude

By: Friday August 5, 2011 6:02 am

Sister Kathryn Jean Intact Hymen Lopez is getting very impatient with young lumberjack poseur Tim Pawlenty because he has yet to join Maggie Gallagher’s Sex Bigot club, which now that you mention it, is kind of weird and suspicious seeing as Tim is from Minnesota which is the Castro Street of the Midwest (Indiana being the South Beach).

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