Satire: Obama ISIS Speech Depresses Nation

By: Thursday September 11, 2014 12:12 pm

Following Obama’s address to the nation Wednesday, America’s psychiatrists and liquor stores stocked up on anti-depressants and massive amounts of alcohol. States allowing for legal marijuana report booming sales.

President Obama announced an expansion of the current war with Iraq (not to be confused with the previous war with Iraq he claimed to have ended in 2011) as well as a Cheney-like giddy eagerness to bomb Syria “just as soon as Congress wimps out and gets out of my way.” Despite their general glee about bombing any brown person anywhere anytime on the planet, many Americans are expected to complain of depression.

 

Yer New iPhone

By: Tuesday September 9, 2014 10:12 am

Apple unveils their new iPhone today. Here’s your 2014 America in a nutshell:

Be poor, Black, Muslim or expressing a political opinion and the cops will run you off the sidewalk (if not taser or kill you.)

Wait overnight on the sidewalk as a good consumer to buy the new iPhone and the cops’ll watch over you like guardian angels.

For Robin & Mom

By: Thursday August 14, 2014 3:30 pm

One Spring I was hired on as first receptionist for the new Shoreline Amphitheatre at Mountain View. My Pink Laminate Pass allowed me backstage to eat my meals, but didn’t grant me access to the magical world I knew must exist beyond the opening guarded by Security that led to the Performer Dressing Rooms and the stage itself. I’d eat my eggplant parmesan watching the staff come and go through that opening bearing their Gold All-Access Passes and vow: one day.

That Fall came my day with news Neil Young and his wife Pegi were going to hold a big fundraiser, the now annual Bridge School Benefit Concert. Our Production Manager needed someone to work in the Band Production office for the show and tapped me for duty.

Robin Williams is Gone, but Millions Will Still Suffer Until Things Change

By: Tuesday August 12, 2014 8:55 am

Comedian Robin Williams was found early this morning of an apparent suicide. He was 63 years old. He struggled with addiction and depression for most of his life and recently checked into rehab as part of his constant battle. But if the statistics are correct, he was one of 9.2 million people in the United States who suffer from what’s known as “dual diagnosis” of substance abuse and mental health problems.

Today Is the International Day of Happiness

By: Thursday March 20, 2014 11:16 am

Today marks the second ever International Day of Happiness!

Inspired by the concept of “Gross Happiness” and originating from the Kingdom of Bhutan’s fourth King Jigme Singye Wangchuck, also known as The “Dragon King.” The Dragon King saw the importance of government in helping strike a balance between the spiritual and the material. He advocated on policies focused on increasing the happiness of his people.

Ebeneezer Scrooge, the Grinch, and the Modern GOP

By: Saturday December 14, 2013 9:00 am

As Christmas approaches, Ebeneezer Scrooge and the Grinch are front and center in the GOP’s blocking of extending unemployment benefits to the long-term unemployed. While Scrooge and the Grinch eventually figured out that they were missing something, the modern GOP in Congress would label them as “weak” and “wishy-washy” and “backsliders.”

And FDR would have eaten them for lunch.

Greece Gets Extension on Meeting Budget Targets

By: Tuesday November 13, 2012 1:40 pm

Greece’s international creditors have delivered a minor lifeline to the ruined country, extending the deadline for when they must meet EU budget targets by two years. However, at the same time, the Eurozone finance ministers delayed the releast of a new tranche of bailout funds from Greece, worth 31.5 billion euro.

Greece Proposes Another Austerity Budget, Its Lenders Decide It’s Not Cruel Enough

By: Tuesday October 2, 2012 1:37 pm

The Greek government submitted a draft budget for next year that would only further increase the pain and suffering directed at the population, despite depression conditions. But the European leaders determining whether the fresh austerity plan is good enough to meet their conditions want even more pain, in the form of deeper wage cuts.

Europe Agrees to Accelerate Spanish Bank Bailout, Decelerate Austerity

By: Tuesday July 10, 2012 8:40 am

Finance Ministers meeting in Europe agreed on a series of measures for Spain. First, they authorized a first installment of 30 billion euros for lending to Spanish banks, subject to approval from Eurozone governments. The money will be distributed by the end of the month, a faster schedule than previously considered. The real question is who is held responsible for the lending, the Eurozone bailout facility or the sovereign government.

Early Exits in Greek Elections Show Tight Race

By: Sunday June 17, 2012 11:30 am

Early exit polling from Greece, in the second election to try to form a government in as many months, shows an incredibly narrow race between the center-right New Democracy party and the far-left Syriza party. It raises the possibility that no single party could form a government again, which would mean yet another potential round of voting, and the attendant uncertainty.

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