China to Buy Entire Fortune 500

By: Sunday July 13, 2014 1:00 pm

China today tendered an offer for all 500 of the US top 500 companies, with the exception of defense and Information Technology companies.

China described as US defense companies as “Departments of the United States,” inefficient and unable to produce goods which meet China’s cost and quality standards. The IT companies, which became famous for their profit-margin-by-outsourcing strategies, were dismissed as being hotbeds of Indian Ideals and Activism.

 

Blackwater Founder Erik Prince To Advise Chinese Firms In Africa

By: Monday July 7, 2014 1:24 pm

Former Navy SEAL and Blackwater founder Erik Prince has a new security venture. This time he is helping Chinese firms to “take the drama out of Africa” by consulting on how the businesses should establish themselves and operate throughout the continent. Africa has become a major target for Chinese investment to secure access to the continent’s vast natural resources.

They are just getting into this whole “smack talk” idea

By: Thursday June 19, 2014 1:30 am

You’d think China could learn a thing or two from North Korea, but trash talking from the late 1940s is I guess all they had left from the Chang-era.

If I’m Right, China Will Step In and Stabilize Iraq

By: Saturday June 14, 2014 8:49 am

This time around with the Iraq war I want to be on the “winning side” I don’t mean being right, I mean getting paid to be wrong. What good is being right if you can’t monetize it? My contract work at one of the Big 8 peace firms is up, so I’ve been shopping around for new clients.

I can’t reveal who they are but this client wants a stable Middle East. They aren’t as concerned with Iraqis as they are with keeping the spice (I mean oil) flowing. They also believe war is the answer. I can’t dissuade them of this, and as I said, it’s not profitable being right, so I came up with a solution.

Late Night: Angst in My Pants

By: Tuesday June 3, 2014 8:00 pm

Fans of the Iceland witch pants may be little sad to learn that their beloved trousers have be usurped in hipsterness by a pair of Chinese slacks that are 3,000 years old

Eastern Alliances

By: Tuesday June 3, 2014 6:06 pm

The days of unilateral global governance by ‘benevolent” empire, aka USA, are coming to an end. The growing alliance between Russia and China and the prospect of new trade deals done in rubles, yuan, or a basket of other currencies rather than the dollar portend a changing world. Here are a few organizations that will become increasingly important as the globe becomes multipolar.

We’ll Just Ignore What Russia-China Gas Deal Means? Multipolarity Is Here!

By: Thursday May 22, 2014 9:35 am

So is this really how it’s going to go? Will U.S. policymakers, elite think tankers and pundits just refuse to acknowledge the most important political change in the world since the demise of the Soviet Union? Well, yeah, I think that’s what they’ll do.

FBI Makes a Video on How You Can Be a Chinese Spy

By: Thursday May 22, 2014 7:37 am

Your FBI is concerned that bonehead Americans will travel overseas to enemy-controlled territory such as China and be recruited as spies. Since this apparently happened once to one total dumbass kid, the FBI turned right around and spent a boatload of your taxpayer dollars to make a cheesy video, albeit one with professional actors and Hollywood-level technical production qualities. This video explains how to become a Chinese spy.

Russia And China Complete $400 Billion Energy Deal

By: Wednesday May 21, 2014 6:45 am

There seems to be an emerging and unfortunate pattern in US foreign policy. The US overreaches, face plants, and China somehow ends up the true winner. In Iraq, China buys nearly half of the oil produced and is considered “the biggest beneficiary” of the post-Saddam oil boom. In Afghanistan, China has secured lucrative mineral contracts despite “having shed no blood and not much aid.” And now the Ukraine crisis, fomented by the US, unwittingly offered China another opportunity to profit.

Putin Pivots to China

By: Tuesday May 20, 2014 4:16 pm

Today, Vladimir Putin travels to Shanghai to finalize a huge gas deal with China. The agreement, ten years in the making, guarantees the sale of 38 billion cubic meters of natural gas per year to China for the next 30 years.

Russia most likely will sell the gas at $350-380 per 1,000 cubic meters, a slight discount from the price Gazprom quoted last January.

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