All abroad aboard tonight’s Very Special Episode of the Love Boat:

“A series of startling revelations will change the lives of everyone on the Love Boat, as tonight they will loose one–or several–of their own. The four-star cast is joined by surprise guests.”

Just so you know, Pat Robertson says it’s okay that Petraeus banged Paula Broadwell because”she’s an extremely good-looking woman…The man’s off in a foreign land and he’s lonely and here’s a good-looking lady throwing herself at him. He’s a man.”

(But of course the four-star crossed lovers didn’t make the beast with two backs until after he joined the CIA. Because adultery in the military is a crime.)

PROPINQUITY! Your Pat Robertson word of the day.