It turns out that it really is possible to strike black gold in your own backyard, but instead of getting rich from the experience, now the oil belongs to someone else and you end up in an ExxonMobil-controlled no-fly zone where the foul black goop that swept away your petunias is now on its way to your drinking water supply.  The comedic possibilities of such a turn of events seem limited, especially when Keystone XL is barreling ahead unimpeded.

First off, the Academy Awards now want to be known as the Oscars, which I think is a weird change in tradition, but kids these days! I am very excited though that Seth McFarlane will be hosting–he’s smart, funny, hip and edgy enough, yet aware enough of the Hollywood game and players not to be a moran like James Franco.

What if a new film came out about 9/11, “based on a firsthand account of actual events,” that convincingly showed no Jews were in the World Trade Center that fateful morning. The fiery disaster, in fact, was a Zionist/CIA plot to justify launching “The War on Terror”?

Or what about another film “based on true historical events,” that Barack Obama is a closet Muslim, and the drive for gun control paves the way for a jihadist takeover of America?

Outrageous right?

What about a film leaving the impression that brutal methods of torture, though perhaps morally repugnant, led to the assassination of America’s number one enemy.