A Fool and His Money

By: Thursday December 13, 2012 8:00 pm

One of the deepest divides in our alarmingly escalating Class War is one of mutual misunderstanding between the two sides about what money is for: The Job Creators can’t comprehend why the Lower Orders should have such fripperies as food, housing, and medical care (or worse, cell phones and TV’s), while those being steadily ground into mush under their well-shod heels can’t understand why people with enough money to buy their own states don’t at least buy states where the weather is better.

 

Ann Romney Is Just Sitting Around, Listening to Adele and Crying All the Time Now

By: Saturday December 1, 2012 5:00 pm

Mitt and Ann are in the prime of their lives and they should be spending quality time with each other; maybe sitting in His and Hers tubs, holding hands and watching the sun go down like all those couples do in those boner commercials. And, according to those very same commercials, these seemingly endless days could potentially be broken down into four-hour sessions of, as Mitt and Ann like to call it: “Riding Rafalca to Olympic Gold“, if you know what they mean and I think you’d rather that you didn’t….

Seeing a Flock of Moons

By: Thursday November 1, 2012 8:00 pm

Never do I feel so powerless and deflated in my role as a citizen as I do toward the end of an election season, but 2012 is quickly reaching a new level of awfulness. I just can’t wait for this to be over. From the top of the ticket on down (except for a few bright spots I’ll get to later), the dispiriting sense that “winning” can only be called such because losing is flat-out unthinkable, given that almost half of the electorate is evidently willing and eager to elect into office a party that holds them in utter contempt.

Missionary Service Is Not the Same Thing as Military Service

By: Sunday October 21, 2012 1:10 pm

Missionary service is not the same thing as military service – a fact, and not just a semantic one – lost on Mommy, Daddy, and the Romney Boys. Donning a crisp white shirt and black tie to annoy the hell out of the good citizens of France from the back of a 10-speed is “service” to your church. Bleeding to death in a rocky Afghan Pass that a big flock of Mitt’s equally chickenhawkish supporters sent you to is service to your country.

Gang Ann Style

By: Tuesday October 9, 2012 2:15 pm

Smug future-dowager queen Ann Romney is very sick and tired of You People not loving that man of hers like she loves that man of hers, so she and her gang of lying-ass sons, led by eldest crazy-eyed blank-shooter Tarkus, held down Romney campaign chief strategist (I know… I was surprised they had a “strategy” too) Stuart Stevens and cut off his hair influence:

Sunday Late Night: Mitt’s Next Gaffe (Part the Second in September)

By: Sunday September 23, 2012 8:01 pm

Last Sunday, I thought it would be helpful to notate the Mittron2.012 gaffes, mini-scandals, and delicious errors so far in his seven-year quest to be the Prophet-President. I figured we could pick up that series documenting his gaffes sometime in October.

Little did I know that a mere seven days later, we’d have the chance to count (maybe with our shoes off, too) the examples of wheels-off-the-bus the Romney campaign provided for our amusement since then.

Ann Romney Asks the 47% to “Dig Deep” for $45 to Help Hard-Working Mittens

By: Sunday September 23, 2012 9:20 am

Are there any takers out there? From an e-blast from Ann Romney, an opportunity to “Donate $45 today to receive your “Make Mitt #45″ Bumper Sticker.”

Day 1, RNC: Random Thoughts

By: Wednesday August 29, 2012 6:50 am

Some of these you may have picked up from my Twitter feed, which is where I’m likely to be camped for every day of this affair, but just in case you missed it…

Even Ann Romney Can’t Escape the Tax Return Questions

By: Wednesday August 15, 2012 2:10 pm

If the Romney campaign thought the naming of a running mate would cause the media to move on from the issue of Romney’s tax returns, they were sadly mistaken. As long as Romney refuses to release more than what has only been a single incomplete tax return, the issue will hound him. It will be asked of him, his running mate, his surrogates and even his wife.

Late Night: Romney’s Rafalca Folds, But Could Spawn a Hot ‘n’ Sexy Industry

By: Tuesday August 14, 2012 8:00 pm

Mitt Romney’s (wife’s) dancing horsey Rafalca flubbed her Olympic performance, but hay hey the old gal could still be a money maker for Rmoney–and not by being retired to the glue factory or turned into a breed mare. How about a whole line of Rafalca latex wear for seksy time?! Pony play is big in the fetish community, here’s a way for Mitt to create jobs by creating the Rafalca line of latex and leather goods–and improve couples’ (straight, married only ’cause that’s how Mitt rides) love lives!

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