Last night George Zimmerman fanboi and dumber than the average bear Matt Boyle (and, seriously, how dumb do you have to be for Dan Riehl to call you dumb? Like .. a lot) invited everyone to his Big Dumb Pigford Party today which is when a bunch of rightwing bloggers get together and complain about how the gubmint is taking tax dollahs from Real Americans and giving them to the uppity nigras to pay for their T-bones, Cadillacs and Hip Hop Barbeques. So, really, it’s like the other 364 days of the year…but with Mylar balloons.

Par-Tay!

Breitbart.com’s crazed 2011 tale about LBJ put me in mind of the “Neighborhood Nuclear Superiority” skit from Elephant Parts, so I’ve decided to share a video of that skit with you this fine Saturday morning.

Hoo boy, Young Master Ex-Virgin Ben Shapiro is pitching a hate-tent in his pants because Time magazine is considering Sandra Fluke as a possible Person of the Year, even though she is a woman, so not really a “person” per se.

Like the last employee of a closing Blockbuster Video, Breitbart’s Joel Pollak refuses to admit that streaming video will keep him, as God is his witness, from delivering the goods, by which he means renting out all 72 copies of Jack & Jill whether America wants to see it or not

My so-called professional life in conjunction with my so-called private life have taken precedence for the past couple of days and …who suffers? Why, you do, of course. So, in order to tide you over and keep you off the streets where you will most likely fall in with a rough crowd and get into crazy shenanigans and indulge in the type of horseplay that always results in SOMEONE LOSING AN EYE, here are some things that are THINGS from other blogs that you should know about if you don’t already.

Slow day at Breitbart We Gotta Hang Onto Our Phoney-Baloney Jobs World Headquarters as failed lawyer/Congressional candidate/editor/journalist/human Joel Pollak scrambles to string together some combination of words that will dog whistle to the rabble that the Kaffir in Chief is a gun-grabbin’ undercover terrorist lover.

The ankle-nippers at Big Dead Andy’s Big Mausoleum of Otherwise Unemployables have claimed another head to be mounted on their wall of Black People We Don’t Like Because They Are Black People. In this case, Joe Williams from the Beltway Daily Racing Form known as Politico.

Liz Colville at Wonkette directs us to John Hawkin’s Conservative Ladies Whose Boobies I Would Totally Touch list which John complies every year by going to various wingnut circle-jerks put on by Americans For Prosperity and asking random ladies if he can take their picture … for journalistic purposes, of course. Think of him as Ugly George in a Reagan mask.

Last Saturday night we were watching Steven Soderbergh’s Contagion (Spoiler Alert: NOT A DATE MOVIE) and we were all quite amused when a research scientist (played by Elliott Gould) explained to a muckraking “blogger” (played by Jude Law) who maintained a conspiracy blog similar to Prison Planet that “Blogging is not writing. It’s just graffiti with punctuation.”

As the kids say: I LOL’d.

The votes have been cast and tallied and manipulated by Diebold, then reviewed by Nino Scalia who awarded the win to George W. Bush which was then overruled by me and now we have a winner(s) in our Bring Out Your Dead Breitbart Pix contest thing and …. we have two winners because they were so damn close in the totals that it was only fair to declare them both winners because of … socialism? Yeah, okay, that works.