If the Secessionist is too scared to stand up to Mitt Romney, how’s he going stand up to China?

What’s pretty clear at this point is, no matter who the Republican nominee is, they’re not going to be loved. As in 2008, it’s going to take a camera-friendly wingnut (Nikki Haley? Marco Rubio?) on the ticket to rally the rubes.

The Secessionist, whose half-baked, Steve Forbes leftovers are bombing at the National Review (!) — is really pulling out all the stops to become the Teabaggers’ preferred candidate.

These wingnuts are absolutely convinced that human life begins at conception, but when it comes to global warming and Obama’s citizenship — we just can’t be sure.

So how did they all do? “I don’t see anyone galvanizing people like they did for Mike Huckabee,” said Steve Scheffler, president of the event’s sponsor and a leading social conservative activist in Iowa. “And I’d be lying if I told you that can change in one event.”

Well, it was fun while it lasted. Here’s the Pizza Guy talking to Piers Morgan last night about abortion.

Man, just when the Secessionist needed a life preserver — she throws him an anvil.

The Secessionist will try to stop the bleeding at tonight’s Republican debate in Las Vegas, but he’s got his work cut out for him: his campaign is folding like a cheap suit.

Before he was the GOP’s 2012 frontrunner, Herman Cain wrote a weekly, syndicated opinion column. And he devoted a lot of his columns in 2008 to talking about how awesome the economy was — and basically saying that anyone who said otherwise was just trying to make Republicans look bad. (h/t Mark Benjamin)

Wow. I didn’t think the Secessionists could get any whinier after Anita cried about how mean everyone was being to her husband the other day. I was wrong.