Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to see Rick Santorum heading the Republican ticket come November but, dudes, having run through the Bachmann, Perry, Cain, Gingrich campaign bromances we’re starting to get the feeling that you’re just fucking with us out of sheer boredom and the horror of hours spent alone in an Iowa hotel room with an empty honor bar (“God help me, I even drank the Keystone Light… Someone please save me.”).