Newt Gingrich has won the “swinger” vote in South Carolina, proving that the matron of marital virtue, Sarah Palin, was right regarding the revelation that he’d asked his wife for an open marriage.

Just when I thought that I was condemned to a year of joylessly mocking the horse-race aspects of all political coverage in a Presidential election year, along comes Bill Kristol & the Koch Bros to provide me with daily material from the type of people that only wingnut welfare could love and employ.

Just as interest in Sarah Palin has moved into the day-old discount bin, so has novelty memorabilia about her. But this doesn’t mean that she’s going to leave a nickel on the table before she is swept kicking and screaming in that awful voice of hers into the dustbin of has beens.

Man, just when the Secessionist needed a life preserver — she throws him an anvil.

Grandma Grifter/Snowbilly Snooki/Caribou Barbie/Bible Spice (take yer pick) Sarah Palin is not running for President and now we will never have to hear about her or from her ever again for the rest of our lives.

Ha ha. Fat chance.

Longtime journalist and award-winning author Joe McGinniss’ newest book, The Rogue, is the latest – but by no means last – book about Sarah Palin. Palin is not only the most famous Alaskan in history, she has uniquely combined political activity, celebrity, motherhood, grandmotherhood, a spousal relationship, borderline religious beliefs, professional victimhood, the American gossip universe, pop culture, legal obfuscation, new media and social networking. Increasingly known for being thin-skinned and somewhat lacking in spatial awareness, Palin, more than any American politician in a generation or so, almost begged McGinniss – or any investigative author – to move next door.

I’m not sure anyone outside of Ralph really thinks that Palin had any idea about what her Iowa speech contained because, for all she knows, she probably stood at the lectern and repeated the word ‘boner’ over and over again for about twenty minutes before being lured offstage with something shiny and a six-figure check. But Ralph sees a prettier version of himself mouthing approximations of the things he has been saying for years and all of the sudden he gets starbursts in his pants which hasn’t happened since, well actually, never.

Sarah Palin just hates it that corporations control our government. Honest!

Tired after another long, depressing week of following the news? Well, in non-news today, I can report that Sarah Palin’s descent from ambitious politician to crazed media stalker is continuing to pick up speed.

Sarah Palin’s movie opens with shots of celebrities like Matt Damon and Bill Maher wryly observing the oft repeated missive that she’s basically unqualified for county dog catcher.