Bill Kristol's cabana boy, Matthew Continetti, is all over the place this week strewing rose petals before the mukluks of the Alaska almost-writer lady.

Sarah Palin (former governor of Alaska, English as a second language, snowbilly grifter...that Sarah Palin) is going out on book tour next week hitting all of the big media centers like Noblesville, IN. and Roanoke, VA. and other towns with more than four stoplights. One of her stops will be in Norman OK. after her people were warned off of Lenexa Kansas because the people in Lenexa believe that women who read books are witches, so Oklahoma it is! Exciting!

Hey ladies! Congressman Pete Sessions of Texas thinks you should pay more for your insurance because you chose to have all that crazy plumbing with its nook and crannies down there instead of a good old fashioned American penis.

Fred Barnes, who is the emergency back-up always-wrong person in case Bill Kristol is unable to fulfill his duties, points out that President Blacker Than A 1000 Midnights should never attempt anything that might turn out badly like, say, getting involved in a land war in Asia.

BLACK MAN ORDERED NOT TO RUN BY REPUBLICANS Awesome!

Okay, someone is thinking seriously about taking the American people's side in a Senate debate like his late colleague Edward M Kennedy used to do so forcefully: North Dakota Senator Byron Dorgan wants to blow up the deal the White House and Finance Chairman Max Baucus made with Big PhRMA to screw Americans who need pharmaceutical drugs.

Clark Hoyt of the New York Times announced to the world that you can slap him around, call him a bitch, and he'll still go make you a sandwich and blow you while you eat it.

I knew it would come to this.

Between running big companies and buying power suits with shoulder pads you could land a 737 on, there are just not enough hours in the day for America's rich executive-ladies. Whether it's selling ink cartridges or beanie babies in bulk, it's a fast-paced go go go go go life.

Hey kids! Remember Kenny Gladney the Teabagging Drama Queen? Of course you do.