About Me:
Yeah. Like I would tell you....
About Me:
Yeah. Like I would tell you....

How Can I Live Without You

By: Thursday August 22, 2013 3:20 pm

Although there will be a few mini-posts this evening before I shuffle off to Buffalo (fat chance of that ever happening) I wanted to take a moment to thank everyone for their continued readership, lovely emails, comments, gifts, and tax-deductible contributions to establish the Totally Awesome Museum of Shakira Animated GIF’s (gift shop opening soon!) over these last thirteen years. Also, thanks to the wonderful folks here at Good Ship FDL for having me aboard.

A Gaggle of Geese, A Scrotum of Teabaggers – A Treasury Of Shit I Wrote

By: Wednesday August 21, 2013 4:48 pm

Since things are winding down here because I am leaving to find inner peace and outer tan-ness, I’d thought I’d put up a few links to some of the more popular posts I have done over the years. I mean, it beats writing new stuff.

Nice Try But ‘No Sale’, Sparky

By: Tuesday August 20, 2013 2:50 pm

Obviously this is Bill Kristol’s “Baby, please don’t go. I’ll change. I know I can change” plea to me to stick around:

My Opening Farewell, So Long And Thanks For All The Fish, Oh The Places I Will Go, How Can You Miss Me If I Won’t Go Away, Just Leave Already Fer Chrissakes, Post Thingy

By: Tuesday August 13, 2013 3:33 pm

Clever person that you are, you no doubt may have inferred from the post title that I will be leaving Firedoglake, which has been my home lo these past six years, in the near future. By which I mean ‘next week’, … by which I mean ‘Thursday-ish’.

Yup, let’s say next Thursday. So it is written, so it shall be done.

Tim Pawlenty Has Finally Found Someone He Can Beat

By: Monday August 12, 2013 2:55 pm

Tim Pawlenty, whom you may remember dropping out of the GOP primaries while the candidates were still doing pre-game stretching (possibly thinking he would get an appreciative nod from Romney. PSYCH!), is getting all butch on TwitterFight (the First rule of TwitterFight is: only 140 characters) about how he totally would have CRUSHED that 58 year-old homeless woman if she had still been at the top of the steps of the Lincoln Memorial that time when Tim mistakenly thought he was in Philadelphia

Filner Pulls All Nighter, No Longer Wants to Bone Anything With Boobs

By: Friday August 9, 2013 5:58 pm

San Diego Mayor Bob Filner is a real go-getter. When he sets his mind on something, such as running for Congress or becoming the mayor of America’s seventh largest city or awkwardly propositioning any woman within yelling distance, he doesn’t take “no” for an answer no matter how hard you try to squirm out of his Headlock of Seduction. So when his attorney and advisers told him he needed to go to sex camp he was all “Fuck yeah! High five!” until they explained that it was more like Not-Every-Lady-Wants-Your-Man-Meat Camp and then he was all, “Fuck”. But a-camping he did go, and he did it with a vengeance, passing his classes with flying T’s & A’s in record time and now he’s tan, rested, and ready to no longer grind his pelvis against the firm jutting buttocks of women he meets at social events … unless they look like they want it. And deep down, don’t they all? Amirite right, guys?

Being Peggy Noonan Being Hillary Clinton Being NBC

By: Thursday August 8, 2013 3:35 pm

National vodka repository Peggy Noonan who once wrote some Hillary Clinton fanfic (“Assembling her case, Noonan repeatedly uses a technique that increases drama at the price of credibility: invented scenes“) is auditioning to write the screenplay for NBC’s Hillary!: The Coronationing.

You’re Prettier When You Don’t Talk

By: Wednesday August 7, 2013 5:40 am

Highly infectious Norwegian skin disease and GOP show-runner Reince Priebus is thinking of pulling the 2016 season of Wheel Of Fortune For Even Stupider People off of CNN and NBC because both of those networks have a ratings boner for Hillary Clinton.

On The Amazon, The Pax Vobiscum Bite

By: Monday August 5, 2013 4:15 pm

In light of Amazon’s Jeff Bezos’ purchase of The Washington Post, I’ll just point out that two weeks ago, using my Amazon Prime account, I purchased 100 pounds worth of dumbbells (no, not Jim Hoft and Matt Boyle) and received them in two days without paying any shipping costs. So, it’s not like Bezos doesn’t already have experience in running a business at a loss and convincing shareholders that it is a highly profitable operation.

Well, That Could Have Gone Better….

By: Wednesday July 31, 2013 11:30 am

San Diego Mayor Bob Filner asked the San Diego City Council to pitch into his Gropes For Dopes legal fund because, c’mon, bros before hoes, amirite?

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