Late Nite FDL: Anatomy Of A Conservative Sissy-Attack

chicken hawk
Above: A Blathering of Chickenhawks

So we posted this piece over at Sadly, No! last night, and our right-wing pals found it strongly not to their liking. We knew this when our server locked up.

The DDOS attack launched on us was especially interesting in light of the following credo in the Gathering of Eagles Mission Statement:

We believe in and would give our lives for the precious freedoms found in our Constitution. We believe that our freedom of speech is one of the greatest things our country espouses, and we absolutely hold that any American citizen has the right to express his or her approval or disapproval with any policy, law, or action of our nation and her government in a peaceful manner as afforded by the laws of our land.

We don’t yet know who was behind the attack (it seems unlikely that the hit was ordered by Fred Hiatt and his Washington Post Thugz-4-Eva Posse), but life showed again that it is rich with ironies.

On the plus side, apparent orchestrated cyber-crime makes us feel really big and important. We felt so full of ourselves today that we asked TRex to let us post the piece at FDL where a whole lot more people can see it!

Rock on, TRex!

Anatomy Of A Con Job

As we know, opinion against the war in Iraq, and against President Bush, now stands at between 60 and 70 percent in America. If you’re a right-wing authoritarian follower, how do you continue to prop up the necessary belief that you represent a silent majority of downtrodden patriots, and that someday a real rain will come and wash the scum off the streets?

Luckily, there are people out there to do that thinking for you.

Above: Right-wing astroturfer Larry Bailey

Step One: Invent a phony threat — for instance, to the Vietnam War Memorial:

As a Vietnam veteran, and suffering through fox-hole combat, and knowing what the anti-war movement did to America and to my morale of me and the morale other troops during the Vietnam era, the thought of elements of those same vile and vicious people attempting to resurrect their venom and use the Vietnam Memorial Wall as a proxy was intolerable. My view was it must be challenged, and in short it cannot happen. The current anti-war movement is no different than the Vietnam era group, in fact many current participants are the same people who were involved in the 60s and 70s. They lie, deceive, distort, damage, desecrate, spit on our military, curse, hurl insults, and dishonor not only historical sites but hallowed ground if given the opportunity.

Step Two: Create a fake-nonpartisan campaign to 'protect' the memorial from the vile and vicious spitters-on and desecrators-of, who are converging on DC in a mammoth hippie tidal wave:



Late Nite FDL: Principia Wingnuttia


 (Tonight’s guest poster is Gavin M. from Sadly, No!)

Above: A very good sign 

It’s sometimes good to sit back in your chair, hook your thumbs under your overall straps, and savor the blessings that so grandly accrue to us as Americans, or as citizens of the other advanced countries or Canada.

Wealth isn’t always one of them, certainly, and dignity and sobriety are seeming less golden lately, with the gathering chance that we’ll spend our final days, perhaps in June or something, as green Day-Glo skeletons frozen in eyeless, crabbed screaming postures on a blasted, glassy doomscape. And not to completely minimize that, but life is full of satisfaction, and there are many gifts that modern life grants us daily that would make us the pride and envy of our ancestors.

Specifically, never since humanity clustered nightly around sod fires in the Afar and told jokes about afarensis or erectus, or whomever the funny guys with the little heads were, has there been such an impossibly fecund, pollen-blown, juice-engorged garden of comedy and hominid folly by which to be entertained and brought closer to perfect understanding of Creation. But let’s not go too wide here.

It speaks to the genius of the sons and daughters of Goethe that the highest of human faculties in our modern times is named in German. But it was an American who innovated the beautiful parallel term, Podenfreude, to denote the joy felt in reading the bad writing of others. It is named after John Podhoretz, and more about him anon. My own innovation is Hindenfreude, which combines the awed, stomach-dropping feeling of watching a spectacular disaster, such as an exploding Zeppelin, with the experience of reading John Hinderaker.