Allison Hantschel

If we’re ever together and you just want to piss me off, turn me into Humorless History Girl Who Takes Things Too Seriously, make a surrender-monkey joke about the French. Remind me how we poured French wine down sewers and renamed the fries in the cafeteria Freedom Fries and talked all day long on TV about how the French are pussies who make cheese and run at the first sign of a fight. Go ahead.

So the Wisconsin state legislature last week decided to pick a fight with a small nonprofit journalism operation, because book learning is for liberals, and because they could. The University, which houses the center in exchange for paid internship experience for students, has to its credit given no fucks at all in responding to the attack.

So work two jobs. I can hear them saying it, the bootstrap people. So work three. So save every single penny you ever earn. Don’t eat lunch. Don’t eat dinner. Don’t go to the movies. Don’t buy yourself a prom dress or a new shirt. Don’t put gas in your car.

1998 called, it says hang in there, the music gets better.

This goes back to the whole “I can’t go there without a sidearm” kind of thing I was talking about before, where you assume people who don’t live in your neighborhood aren’t real. They don’t, say, get up and go to work or come home and sit on their porch reading or listening to the game. They don’t love their children or drive through the hamburger place or check books out of the library or get their hair cut or drink coffee. They think violence is normal and gang affiliation is awesome and everybody be slingin’ tonight. Their ways are strange to us all. I mean, God Almighty:

I want to expand on something I started ranting about over at my place, because Jesus tits, Howell Raines.

I swear whenever these Republican knobs start yobbing off about how poor people just need to learn to work hard, I think YOU FIRST ASSHOLE. I doubt any of them have ever hauled anything heavier than a double scotch, but boy are they eager to stand watch with a whip while the little children pick in the fields and scrub in the hallways.

But it’s not Obama Republicans should be afraid of. It’s us.

Kerry once again pisses off all the right wingnuts by relaying the info that people overseas think we are fucking insane.

You want to be at the cool party, and you’re upset that you can’t be at the cool party and still be so uncool. Well, guess what? It’s time to learn to deal. You don’t get to have everything. Welcome to the United States of the rest of us.