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February 27, 2009

Michael Steele Takes the RNC Down to Funkytown

Posted in: 2010 Election,Conservatism,GOP ethics,Republicans,RNC,Snark/Satire,Uncle Tom's Closet

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So the RNC is making a last-ditch (and bewilderingly tone-deaf) effort to resuscitate the party by tapping into "hip hop" America’s mad bank. It must be fairly disorienting to be one of the six or seven black people in the Republican Party, with all your white peers trying to speak your "language" loudly and slowly, like tourists in a foreign land. Sheee-it, everyone knows that the African-American community enjoys being stereotyped as jive talkin’, gangsta rap-lovin’, watermelon-eatin‘ folks.

Of course, the biggest booster of all this newfound "black power-speak" is the RNC Chair, Michael Steele, who brings a genuine suburban grit to the Republican Party.

Let’s review Steele’s phat moves thus far (because yes, it is Michael "Home Skillet" Steele we’re talking about – there’s bound to be hella more coming):

2/9: On President Obama’s stimulus package: "[It] is just a wish list from a lot of people who have been on the sidelines for years. . . to get a little bling, bling." (Politico)

2/19: On his brilliant plan to convert minorities to the Republican Party: New GOP party chief Michael SteeleĀ is promising an "off the hook" public relations blitz into "urban-suburban hip-hop settings" in hopes of wooing Latinos and African-Americans. . . "We need to uptick our image with everyone, including one-armed midgets," he joked. . . "We missed the mark in the past, which is why we are in the crapper now," he said. (The New York Daily News)

2/25: On Governor Jindal: "I love it. (inaudible)…some slum love out to my buddy, gov."

And in that same interview, Steele revisits his favorite 1990′s slang: "Absolutely. There’s a lot of bling bling — the bling bling’s got bling bling in this package. That’s how bad it is."

Steele also felt compelled to prove his street cred to Curtis Sliwa: "I used to hang out in Brooklyn and in the Bronx as a teenager. I know what the real world is like. . . There you go, playa." (Politico)

2/27: Addressing CPAC: "Tonight, we tell America: we know the past, we know we did wrong. My bad." (TPM)

Steele’s act was so convincing at CPAC that even the Craziest White Lady in America, Michele Bachmann, donned her leather Baby Phat jacket and channeled Butterfly McQueen: "Michael Steele! You be da man! You be da man."

Way to get those minority votes, dawg. Because the world wasn’t damaged enough by Vanilla Ice.

[Graphic by mad genius twolf]


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