Sarah Palin Suspends Governorship To Pursue Campaign

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In a remarkable show of solidarity with her running mate, Sarah Palin announced that she is suspending her governorship, effective immediately, so that she can focus all her energies on resolving America’s urgent Sarah-Palin-is-not-vice-president crisis. She expressed her hope that both parties would put their differences aside and work together towards the common goal of making her vice president.

The Democratic congressional leadership is "cautiously receptive" to Palin’s bold initiative, according to a highly placed staffer, but the full extent of their participation is still under negotiation.

The McCain campaign will assume all of Governor Palin’s non-marital duties while she is away. Most importantly, Edward O’Callaghan has taken over Troopergate stonewalling responsibilities from Thomas Van Flein, and Carly Fiorina will be in charge of watering the plants and brushing the furniture.

Campaign spokesman Tucker Bounds pointed out that Palin’s move is not unprecedented: George W. Bush has temporarily suspended his presidency, and John McCain himself hasn’t cast a vote in almost six months.

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3. BREAKING: Sarah Palin to Resign; Alaska Governor Stepping Down in “A Few Weeks”
4. The nitwit and wisdom of Sarah Palin
5. Sarah Palin Resigns To Spend More Time IN YOUR FACE