For John Boehner, It “Sucks” To Be A Republican

John Boehner is such a fragile soul. When he’s not sobbing on the House floor, he’s crying about what a mess the GOP is.

Polls show the public holds congressional Republicans in low esteem. Boehner’s effort to craft a new agenda for Republicans remains under wraps. And in the minority leader’s own words, their fundraising “sucks.”

“Now the money sucks for two reasons,” Boehner said in a Politico interview. “People are mad at the president; they are mad at the party. And then [there is] this whole immigration fight. People just turned off the spigot.”

Gosh, why would that be?

Sure the GOP has botched two wars, bankrupted the country, opened up a festering schism between their corporate overlords and their keep-the-brown-people-out base, alienated minorities, demonized gays, let a major US city drown, screwed the middle class, done zilch about climate change, had a bunch of their guys get thrown in jail — all while blindly supporting an historically unpopular idiot manchild of a President. But they were right on top of that Terri Schiavo thing!

What to do? This calls for a PR makeover!

Boehner has undertaken a study, consulting corporate image experts, to “re-brand” the party. But so far, no big ideas have emerged.

Sorry, John. The Great Leader has already re-branded the party "The Party That Loses Wars and Pretty Much Fucks Everything Up" and it’s going to take a generation to undo the damage.

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3. Biden to Smack Boehner Around on Stimulus
4. Boehner Enlists Bloodhound to Look for Stimulus Jobs, Forgets They’re in His Home State
5. Joe Scarborough & Peggy Noonan: Americans Secretly Yearning for Republican-Controlled Congress