Naturally, Republicans in Congress are so protective of the Second Amendment (so powerful they never read the first clause) that the right to bear arms extends even to things that are not actually guns.
Rep. Steve Stockman (R-Texas) introduced legislation this week to block federal funding for schools that enforce rules that punish students for playing with imaginary weapons.
Naturally, this is called the “Student Protection Act“.
Finally, the nation’s most pressing issue is addressed.
Next up, Stockman introduces a law to mandate every child get a free pack of candy cigarettes.