“Mom! Mom! Mom!”

“Mom! Wake UP, Mom! Wake up right now, Mom!”

“Wake up, Mom, the weirdest thing happened while you were asleep, Mom!”

“While you were asleep, it got real cold in here and suddenly really, really bright!”

“Yeah, we couldn’t tell what was happening because our eyes were still closed.”

“But suddenly, we couldn’t find you anymore!”

“And there were these weird smells and sounds. Not like you smell or sound, Mom. Not like you at all.”

“And we got grabbed out of the warmth, away from you, and it got really really bright!”

“But we still couldn’t see anything because our eyes hadn’t opened yet.”

“Then it got dark and warm, but it sure smelled bad. Can you smell them on me, Mom?”

“They sure were smelly loud aliens with all their HAHAHAing and chatter, Mom.”

“But they kept us warm and dangled us in little bags.”

“Then they put cold instruments on our heads and said some numbers, it was sooooo weird, Mom.”

“And we could smell you then, you were nearer to us, like out in the light.”

“But you didn’t wake up even when we called to you, Mom.”

“We cried and cried, but you ignored us, Mom.”

“Were you drinking, Mom? Get into that good sweet cider?”

“Yeah! — because you were OUT, Mom.”

“Then the weird bears laughed and laughed, HAHAHAHAHA and they went SHHHHHHH!”

“Then we found you again and where the milk comes from, so we were happy again….”

“We were really happy they put us back where the milk is, Mom.”

“But it was really strange, Mom.”

“Yeah, those talky bears sounded so strange, but they smelled even stranger!”

“Then it got all warm and dark again here in the den, but Mom, we could still hear them outside!”

“And they all went SHHHHHHH!”

Mama Bear: “Oh, you cubs and your stories. Every time I have a litter I have to listen to these silly stories about being abducted. I don’t know how you come up with the same story every time, sitting around in the warm den chattering at each other before it’s time to go outside. But you’re all three very silly little cubs, with your lies, and I haven’t time to worry about your tales. Now, let’s go outside in the sunshine. Time for you three to learn about the real outdoors, not sit around in here making up stories. It’s warmer outside now, and the days are lighter longer….”

hat tip: Laura