If I were a Republican at this particular moment, I’d have but one wish: Better grifters, please.
One of the more annoying, but perhaps encouraging, aspects of political “news” these days is that the talent pool is so ridiculously shallow when it comes to “experts” routinely brought in to sing the praises of austerity and, of course, corresponding tax cuts for the Job Creators. Despite the Herculean efforts of the Village media to make universally loathed, overpaid sleazebags like Lloyd Blankfein of Goldman Sachs or David Cote of Honeywell seem credible, nobody in America but David Gregory would be moved to even piss on these two cartoon villains, especially if they were on fire.
A brief glance at the titles of our plutocratic overlords currently hogging the spotlight tells the story: not a one of them sells something anyone would buy if they weren’t forced to, and the only reason anyone remembers their faces is because they are pretty much emblazoned on dartboards from sea to shining sea. And yet, and yet, these are the people hauled out before the cameras to explain to America that, actually they didn’t really just vote for what they, well, just voted for.
The perverse effect of money becoming speech is that the amount of money required to actually enjoy said speech tends to rule out a lot of more convincing messengers for their alternate reality than, say, Jamie Dimon. But then again, only about one third of Americans have been directly screwed by his lawless and ill-run bank thus far, so as long as they don’t run him back-to-back with Bank of America’s Brian Moynihan, they stand a chance of convincing a shut-in here and there that their transparently self-serving “ideas” aren’t just another in a long line of their infamous con jobs.
But then there are the other guys (naturally they’re all guys), and they, and the companies they are currently looting, are little better. AT&T, America’s most despised phone company. Boeing, America’s favorite union-busting corporate welfare queen. Papa John’s, Denny’s, and Darden Restaurants, America’s worst eating options (at least McDonald’s, Taco Bell, and such are cheaper…).
The list is long and depressing of politicized businesses that are utter, occasionally laughable failures at their stated missions, yet their shameless bosses think they have a thing or two to tell the rest of us how things should be run in the Free Market.
Though such self-entitled overconfidence isn’t exactly a thought a flaw amongst the beltway elite who promote it, it does seem to be going over like a fart in church with ordinary people continually forced to watch. Heck, even the always overly deferential Obama gang seems to finally get this; they probably wish Lloyd Blankfein would put a bag on his head right now as much as I do, albeit for different reasons.
Not for the first time, and I’m guardedly hopeful not for the last, the pure awfulness of the austerity crowd has all but forced once-compliant Democrats to wax populist, at a time when doing so actually matters, if only to air out the room of the rather acrid stench of unearned entitlement.
Rapacious, government-coddled monopolies are great, but only until there are so few of them do their tainted figureheads become as repulsively familiar as the twin bathtubs in the Cialis commercials, and even less effective. The sneaky, undercover types like Adelson, Friess, and the Kochs found this out November 6; the loud and proud types like Blankfein and his ilk are finding that out now, belatedly.
Musical chairs, as a game, only works when a chair gets pulled once in a while. That’s no longer happening, and the end result is a wonder to behold.
Photo by Fortune Live Media under Creative Commons License.