
Graphic by twolf
Exactly three and a half years after Michael Savage declared that support for Prop 8 meant that America is “probably 50 leagues below the degeneracy that brought about Hitler” and that “[i]t is why we’re melting down as a nation,” corrupt evil dictator Robert Mugabe has upped the ante to cover the entire human race:
When a man says he wants to get married to another man, we in Zimbabwe don’t accept it. We can’t talk of women’s rights at all if we go in that direction. It will lead to extinction.
Well. I suppose he makes an excellent point, if same-sex marriage were to become mandatory. Across the entire planet. And if there were no extramarital sex or in vitro fertilization ever (ironically, I bet Mugabe is adamantly opposed to gay couples adopting or conceiving children too).
As for how marriage equality infringes on women’s rights, I haven’t a clue. Maybe he just threw that in because he was speaking at a UN-sponsored gender equality and HIV/AIDS conference(!) and was trying to make his bigotry sound empowering. Or maybe he believes marriage equality infringes on women’s God-given right to marry gay dudes.
Maybe it has something to do with how only “[m]others were given the talent to bear children. That talent doesn’t belong to men.” (Apparently only men can be gay, which I was not previously aware of.) Or maybe I didn’t take the extinction quote literally enough, and Mugabe is concerned about the consequences of allowing only gay men to marry each other, which I agree would be pretty unfair.
Whatever the case, you can be sure Michael Savage has accepted the challenge. Even now, he is probably combing through the collected works of Stephen Hawking, searching for any way in which marriage equality might conceivably destroy all life in the Milky Way galaxy, if not the entire universe.




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Eli!
Buzz!
Eli!
Whenever the time comes to extend civil liberties to another group, you can count on the right wing to act like it’s the end of the world.
DrPuma!
They’re usually not quite so literal about it though…
Oh, no, not a gay apocalypse! I thought we were still having a women’s apocalypse but there are so many these days.
HEY, ELI !
They usually save the big hysterics until they start to see that change is inevitable. Take it as a good sign for the future.
Hard to believe you give any time to nut-case Savage. He occ. comes up on my car radio, but he is gone as soon as my fingers can hit the button. What a mean, tacky guy. I do not use those words casually, you know.
HEY, TWAIN!
It’s the Apocalypse Apocalypse!
Every once in a while the hyperbole is just so completely batshit insane I can’t resist.
They believe in every kind of apocalypse except the ones that are most probable: the nuclear meltdown apocalypse and the global warming apocalypse.
Yeah, completely amazing, if not dangerous.
By the way, today (May 25th) is Towel Day in honor of the late, great Douglas Adams, whose greatest work began with a planetary Apocalypse. Do YOU know where your towel is?
ELI!
Maybe he’s suggesting that marriage equality will get God’s panties in such a twist that s/he’ll just say “Screw it” and start over…
Don’t Panic!
42!
God only promised that He would never destroy the world with a flood again. He never said anything about destroying it with marriage equality.
ELI!!! Is it time to bring up the subject of stoning anyone that eats shellfish?
MARGARET!
Oh, I understood the extinction argument fine, it’s the women’s rights argument that baffles me. Not to mention the question of what he was doing at a gender equality and AIDS conference in the first place, other than the fact that it was in his country and I guess no one could say no.
BLUETOE!!!
Hallloooo!
You should be in charge of directing certain folks to the “B” ship, if I may ask you to do that… :)
Maybe Satan was unavailable?
oops…
ELI!
And then, of course, when you add in the Water Apocalypse (climate change, over-population, fracking) and the Food Apocalypse (engineered crops gone bad, tainted soil, depleted water supplies, poisoned water, salted ground water, uncontrolled bacteria, and more crap to come), then it just makes sense that reduced breeding is in order. Yay for the Gay.
KELLY!
Nothing would please me more. Do I get to select them?
They’re all a bunch of useless bloody loonies! (The Democrats, too!)
I understand the Church Lady is looking for a gig. Dana Carvey hasn’t pulled her out in a while.
Obviously we need to send a lot of self-reliant individualists ahead to get things up and running before the rest of us arrive at our new planet.
Too bad. An Amendment One-based Church Lady sketch would be hysterical. (And so would any wingnut who watched it, not that we’d see the difference.)
Unlike the Golgafrinchans, we don’t even have to program the ship to crash. Odds are that a crew of self-reliant individualists will blow it up before it clears the Oort Cloud.
The Milky Way is about 100,000 light-years across. That’s really, really big. If Terran ‘gay marriage’ could destroy even something so vast, still, who cares? There are billions more galaxies.
5 million captains and no crew or passengers.
I have a better idea: Vogon poetry piped over the intercom 24/7.
We can attract more of them by renaming the B ship the “USS Exceptionalism”.
I’m pretty sure it would sound lyrical compared to what they usually listen to.
I was thinking “Galt”, “Rand”, “Atlas”, or “Fountainhead”. Or “Reagan”.
As read by Limbaugh?
Mmmm – yummy thread.
Better yet!
Anything but Klingon opera. (Okay, no Dixieland either. As Riker said, ya can’t dance to it.)
Of course. He’s the most famous Vogon on this planet.
I dunno, the Guide says Vogons are “not actually evil”.
And of course, all the onboard email addresses are “@reagan.com.”
Although @atlas.com would be kinda amusing for Star Wars fans.
True, but the Guide contains much that is apocryphal, or at least wildly inaccurate.
I can’t wait for him to recite “Ode to the old, fuzzy oxycontin tab I found in my moth bally winter coat”. I’m incredibly grateful that I won’t have to actually hear it though.
Been missing you. Wonderful to see your fonts. :)
Maggie Gallagher will be on the B ship.
Is Mugabe feigning ignorance or is he truly ignorant? In spite of all the gays, the earth’s human population continues to grow exponentially. Fewer breeders and more gays are needed for the survival of the human species.
My bet is on “truly ignorant.”
Happy long-weekend Friday Eli and everybody!
Ok, I’m gonna say something nice about Obama. The impact of his marriage equality statement has been enormous. Very interesting and wonderful.
(For once I’ll even leave out all my bitch-bitch-bitch qualifiers)
For some Memorial Day Weekend entertainment, may I suggest the legendary the South Park Scientology episode .. brought to my attention today because of Lisa Marie Presley’s recent apparent renunciation of that “church” ..
And I, yours. This seems to be a fun thread to participate in, so YEE HAW!
@EDP wait, you haven’t slammed the Sirius Cybernetics Corp Marketing Division yet. Please proceed. :)
Mugabe is the essence of both evil and stupidity. But at 88, he’s probably not so different from the Old Men of the US Senate.
Happy Memorial Weekend, Sharky!
Tucker Carlson will be on the B ship.
Yes. It has been. It’s too bad he didn’t take that position before Proposition 1 though.
Perhaps inside an electrified fence.
Of course. And anybody associated with FOX “News”.
Any thread by Eli is…
Right. And if Wisconsin goes down in flames, we’ll be hearing from Obama the next week about how important unions are for public employees.
Would that it were so. But thanks.
And, of course, Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, Alberto Gonzalez, Condi Rice, and the rest of Der Shrubbenfuhrer’s cabinet of evil.
Dubya will be there too. And so will Laura of the Strychnine Grin.
Can I prepare the food for the trip. Please. Please. They are going to need a shit load of prunes!
They are a shit load of prunes.
Just let your imagination run wild. Can Babs & Grump ride along, too…. I’d love to see the ‘real’ Mrs. Bush corral that group. Will there be video?
If they’re all together on one ship who will they hate? There will have to be someone or some group because they need to hate.
Hey, I would have settled for Dubai but I admit the B Ship would be much more satisfying.
Listen up, knuckleheads! Once you allow a man to marry another man, what’s to prevent a woman from marrying a man? Huh? Teh me, teh me, teh me!
How about Mugabe and his crowd?
I deeply believe that they all really hate each other….. just keep the video cued.
Dogs and cats… living together….
Well, he is of a darker hue – that might be enough for them.
That way lies madness!
Or, how about Colin Powell. Everyone now hates Colin Powell. Poor schmuck.
Well, Bob has nothing to worry about as long as states have their rights…
Mass hysteria!
Yeah, I have a lot of sympathy for Mr. War Criminal.
Exactly my line of rationale. He’s wingnutty enough to be accepted as a member of the species but different enough to be loathed.
Powell is an open question. He’s complicit but redeemable I feel.
LMAO! Precisely the scene I had in mind.
He had his moment. He pissed it away. IMNVHO.
You’re right of course. Maybe we could put him in charge…Make sure they make it past the Oort cloud.
Now there’s a way to redeem himself!
And it will be proper penance for pretending that today’s Republican Party still has any merit whatsoever.
Bwa ha ha ha! twolf graphical brilliance shines again with the Big Rainbow Toroid of Peace rotated toward eARTh zapping downing teh piNkness and light!
Can someone tell me if these religious nutballs would approve of marriage between two horses if one is a girl horse and one is a boy horse? I can’t find Jesus saying anything about it in the bible.
Wait, I found something about a “bridle veil.” Does that ring any horse wedding bells?
Is there a wallpaper-sized version of that graphic? I really dig it…