Jesus’s angry older brother Bill Donohue sat up all last night wishing and hoping and thinking and praying that blasphemer Jon Stewart would give him a call in order to apologize for his televised slur against the holiest of holies (vaginas, hoohahs, va-jayjays, Play-Doh and bacon mash-ups) but Stewart did not call and Bill Donohue is not about to turn the other cheek [Matthew 5:38-42] like that big homo Jesus kind of suggested:

Jon Stewart refused to apologize last night for the unprecedented assault on Christian sensibilities he launched on April 16. In that episode, “The Daily Show” featured a naked woman with her legs spread and a nativity scene ornament placed between her legs; with the picture on the screen, Stewart laughed at what he called the “vagina manger.” To see the picture, click here.

Our effort against Stewart includes asking his most consistent sponsors to pull their advertising (if necessary, we are not ruling out a boycott of their products), and a lengthy public relations campaign. The goal? To get him to apologize. If that doesn’t work, we can guarantee that his reputation will never be the same.

And that is not all, no-siree bob…

This is just the beginning. Over the next several weeks, we will contact every major Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Mormon and Muslim leader and organization in the nation; they will be sent the picture, along with Stewart’s remarks.

Because if there is one thing that Catholics, Protestants, Jews, Mormons and Muslims can all agree upon, it is the primacy of the female above all others, for She is the reason that man is put upon Earth (by the appropriate and respective God of each religion) so that man may better serve Her and bear Her children and make Her sandwiches and listen to Her describe Her day spent at home raising the children (Ann Romney only) and so: Jon Stewart, dude, you don’t talk smack about the pussy, ‘kay?

Also this too.