Teddy!

Enjoy your time with your mom. It sounds like she has this well planned out and will hopefully be realistic about when it is time to transition. I know that can be hard, especially when you have been in the same home as long as she has.

Tedrow! I’ll attest, you can’t have a more noble task than “the looking after” on the elders in your life.

Chris and I are working on several years of this now, actually since 2007, and I’ll say this. I doesn’t get easier, it always gets harder, and you’re always glad you started earlier than later.

Good for you – you’re a good bear!

Good evening all~ *waves*

Yeah, the hardest part is when they can no longer live on their own and getting them to understand that. I was fortunate not to have to deal with that with my parents, but watched my parents deal with my grandmother’s decline.

Yeah, she’s realistic. The challenge is: she likes stuff. She’s not a hoarder by a long shot, but has accumulated a great deal of material. Stuff. And one thing she passed to me is her love of the written word, in any form. But mainly magazines, catalogues, brochures: printed ephemera.

Lots of it.

But as long as we keep laughing together, we do get along. If she lets me have my way. And I hers.

I started this process about 12 years ago, resulting in a reservation at a very nice place. Which has since morphed into another, nicer place. But I hope she decides it’s time to make the leap. Many of her friends have; knowing there’s people she knows where she’s going should make it easier.

Should.

THe Bear is an awesome and very funny video much appreciated. And Cocktailhag will do fine. Bon Voyage!

I have spent the last few weeks on the phone encouraging old, good habits: thinking about what day it is before asking the nearest person, so as to not give everyone the impression that she’s disoriented as to time and place. Also: writing appointments on the calendar, so as not to be confused about when they are.

Luckily, these are old habits that have fallen away as she’s lived solitarily. Whether she can resume them will prove her capability to live independently. And how much money she has, a complete mystery to me. I just don’t think she has enough to burn it at the rate she is now, with a full-time day aide as well as outrageous property taxes and home upkeep fees.

We’ll see.

Treat ‘hag well, now — she’s a gentle soul.

Those are all important issues and hopefully you can both settle on a mutually satisfactory course. It can be hard for someone to let go and move on, especially when it entails acknowledging your own mortality like this does.

Teddy –
Best wishes and blessings upon you for the next weeks while you help your Mom’s best interests.
I’ve read the sweet stories that you’ve share with us about your Mom.
You’ll be in my prayers, Teddy. You and Patrick and Mom.

Does anyone know if all these sudden bear-waving videos are real? I’ve started going to the Oregon Zoo weekly to teach my black-bear pals to wave, wearing my like-a-ranger green hoodie that sometimes fools them into thinking I’ve brought food.

But no wave-responses yet.

From the larger context I get the sense that this may be a trained bear, rather than a wild one. If so, this could be something it was taught. I certainly have never seen one do that in the wild and I have seen a lot of bears around here.

Teddy! You’ll be missed but I hope your trip is safe, productive and pleasant.

My sibs and I just did this in December for our parents. Mom and Dad ended up in a really nice place in Covington, LA. Turns out many of their old friends are there. They are very, very lucky.

Teddy, remember to take very good care of numero uno.

Nice to see you, Margaret. (As always, Baby.)
Thanks to Teddy for all the positive work he continues to advocate here.
We move forward with open and glad hearts.

Burn rate on the funds is a big deal. We never knew, until we asked how their finances were. and it worked out we caught them in the nick of time.

It’s just the craziest thing that us gay boys asked, and then inherited them, and what needed to happen for them. It’s a bit sentimental, but from here, (you can tell them – after the old scarpbook pics, it’s obvious. And the contemporary pics are all at our house, with me and CJ, the other siblings, the Russians, and some neighbors)

We started asking the questions, as they really looked like they were having a hard time coping daily.

And they were.

Still took 2 years to get them to agree, then actually move into assisted living. And now it’s 2 years later, and not much easier, in some ways, but a lot easier ’cause of logistics. We don’t have to drive 4 hours to help anymore, for starters.

reply to Teddy @12

Looks like a (brown-nose) grizzly in the video. Black bears are probably too cool to wave at people.

Sincerest atheist blessings to you for helping your mom. I know you’ve mentioned her before, I’m certain she’s very special.

Hey, ratty! Long time no see.

Hey Doc! Hope all’s gravy for you an’ Dr. Smoke.

teddy! enjoy your visit with your mom. i’ve got my fingers and toes crossed that it is an good and easy trip and the decisions made are not as bad as your worries about them.

I’ve been called a lot of things, but I must admit, “gentle soul” is a new one.
I’ll do my best not to make a hash of things in your absence, and I wish you well with your mom.

Blessings are blessings.
Give a nod to that Bob Guy, and one to your own self, from me.
Nighty night, all you wonderful peeps.

Pshaw, hash would be most welcome.

Bobby says “howdy howdy howdy.”
Sweet dreams, dear. :)

Leaving the last deviled egg for the Bob Dude.

Isn’t that a bit cannibalistic? (not a problem, we love cannibals)

We are doing well. She roars around the house like a mad woman or sleeps. I have a student who is desperately trying to finish her MA thesis this semester. I think she can probably do it, but it would help if she could freaking write. Have two more that are looking to defend their dissertation proposals, but I have not seen anything yet from one. The other is almost there. They are keeping me busy.

On that note, I need to toddle off as there are young minds to corrupt tomorrow.

Sleep well. They’re lucky to have you there wielding the academic cattle-prod. “g”

Heading out, splendid evening to all.

Best to you Teddy. I can relate to the issues you’re dealing with. Take good care.

Fare thee well, TSF!

Dealing with aging parent issues myself lately: Mom in transition after Dad passed away last month (just shy of 90).

Oh it is all so tough. We think that they are prepared, we think that WE are prepared. But not really. My parents moved to a great community about four years ago, and it has served them well. My mother died in February, after a very hard winter, but my Dad, bless his music loving soul, has thrived in this community by playing music and going to every activity the facility offers. I’ll see him in two week, I hope.

Teddy, dear,
BIG love and best of luck!

All be in Portland visiting my Brother on the 18.

Those of us who advocate on behalf of parents & grandparents every day send you and your Mom our best wishes, Teddy.

Rich Lowry, as he does a frightfully polite thing for a rightwing publication founded in the deep need for genteel racism: rips off the bandaid and fires the suppurating sore underneath. Firing outspoken racists???

Has a GOPer read the latest polling on racism and how younger voters hate it? Have they seen the Tea Baggers racism has lost the GOP more votes than it ever got?
This smells like a trial balloon and Mitt trying to shake the etch a sketch. This does not sound like Rich it sounds like the GOP high command making the call.

Seconded.

Thanks to all of you, too many to thank individually, for your good wishes. I’m very happy, as a girthed-American, to have spent miles to upgrade to 1st on the only nonstop from Portland to Dulles, and back. Should make the hours fly by.

I hate coach with a passion, as do my seatmates.

So is Rich going to sign the petition to get Rush off the air/s?

Hey Suzanne!
How are you doing? MrCE and I were alone today, and we loved it. We went to the movie “Salmon Fishing in the Yemen” which was not only wonderful, but made me cry through the whole thing. Sob!

Teddy, my dad moved to an independent living facility a year ago….and it has been wonderful. He has an apartment that allows him independence and a dining room that is like a fine restaurant. A lot of it, I think, is attitude. Being ready and being willing to enjoy what the facility offers. Best to you and to your mom.

Dearie!
Man, so many of us are here. I’m thanking good old pensions, that no longer exist — am I right?

Isn’t that the truth! I cannot imagine the stories OUR children will be writing about parents without pensions, with decreased Social Security, with reduced Medicare, with IRAs and 401ks decimated so that some fat cat can have a 4th or 5th home and a 2nd or 3rd yacht. The USA has become shameful. And I even remember the days when people worried about somebody’s grandma having to eat cat food or go hungry.

As my Dad and my lawyer brother sorted out all the documents, shredded credit cards, and talked about phone plans and such, I became amazed at the savvy of my younger brother. Geologist, lawyer, realtor, and all around fabulous son, he saved the day for our Dad. “Pension!” he replied to Dad, “they no longer exit.”

Best to you, Teddy. And that “other person.” She certainly is priority. You’ll be missed but I do look forward to being shocked, offended and appalled in your absence.

Best wishes to you and yours, Ted.

El oso? That’s the spirit of my brother Ed Abbey. Look close. He ain’t wavin’. That’s a middle claw.

Thank you to everyone and all.

I’ll see you all back here, I hope, on the 29th.

Best wishes for you and your Teddy P . . . did this thing when I was 48 . . . both parents over 5 years . . . it was hard and my bro and his wife did the hard work . . . n still it was hard watching them go.

Nothing in our life is more important than tending to the end times of our parents . . not ignoring spouses, children and such. Friends.

Go, do well, be well, do the right thing . . . as you have always done since I first read yer fonts in this forum.

You. DO. Good, for others, bless ya, sir.

Well said, Larue.

Hugs to all the caregivers tending their loved ones.