In a field laden with ignoramuses, functional illiterates, philanderers, super-philanderers and the dork-a-christ, one man stands apart.

pic via maassive at flickr.com

Mitt Romney, relatively untainted by scandal or backbone — George H.W. Bush with a tan. But now Romney is so dull and uncharismatic he is desperate for some color outside of bronzer.  The base wants more craaaaaazzzzzy.   But being Mitt Romney this is the best he could do:

…there is considerable evidence that Romney has a genuine temper.

Well, there’s a shocker. What is next? “It appears Romney has a pulse”; “Romney, no sign of gills”; “Mitt Romney denies vestigial tail”.  He’s already asserted his hair is mousse-free.

This sort of milquetoast douchebaggery cannot stand against the genuine article.

I suggest Mitt take a hint from the Cain campaign and have a second former family dog come forward to allege neglect.

Maybe he should claim his current dog is named “Fenton”?