What would happen if the Republicans held a presidential primary and no one showed up?

“A lot of what bothers me with where the presidential politics right now is that I don’t want to hear about how awful President Obama is right now,” she said on conservative talker Laura Ingraham’s radio show. “I want to hear what they are going to do different.

From what I gather from Willard, the Reality Show Guy and the other circus geeks and snake handlers, this would include — in no particular order — producing their birth certificates, repealing ObamaCare and not apologizing for America.

“I don’t care how they are going to win, I want to know how they are going to fix our country.”

Oh come on, Nikki — everyone knows how to fix this country: more tax cuts for rich people and corporations, less regulation, less spending on poor people, deport the Mexicans, protect traditional marriage and teach Intelligent Design in public schools. Also, more drilling.

Done.