When Santa finishes his annual trek, he returns to Wasilla, feeds the reindeer, tips the elves, puts his feet up and gets pampered by Mrs Claus the other 364 days a year. Tooth Fairy leaves us alone between youthful dental emergencies. Even Baby Happy New Year we see only once amidst the champagne toasts, then not again until he re-appears as a wizened, used-up Exiting Year. These icons know their place and time: once a year, and no more.

Not so Mr Fertility Bun, who belongs to a rampaging Evil Gang of One the other 364 days.

David Sedaris described his puzzled reaction to the French tradition of the Easter Bell that flies from Rome every year with chocolate candies for the little French children.

An Easter Bell, and not a bunny? His French instructor tried to explain:

“No, no,” she said. “Here in France the chocolate is brought by a a big bell that flies in from Rome.”

I called for a time-out. “But how do the bell know where you live?”

“Well,” she said, “how does a rabbit?”

It was a decent point, but at least a rabbit has eyes. That’s a start. Rabbits move from place to place, while most bells can only go back and forth — and they can’t even do that on their own power. On top of that, the Easter Bunny has character. He’s someone you’d like to meet and shake hands with.

No, not really. Would I meet S. Claus? Sure. Shake hands with T. Fairy? Absolutely. Tickle just-born H. N. Year under the chin?

But meet and shake hands with this Evil Bun? No thanks.

Video don’t lie. Ask ACORN. Ask Shirley Sherrod. Ask NPR.