It seems strange that Republicans like to talk about creating jobs, yet all their actions either have no effect on job creation, or have downright negative ones, like Chris Christie, Scott Walker and Rick Scott all cancelling or refusing big (and heavily subsidized) infrastructure projects in their respective states.  Now get a load of the Senate GOP’s “detailed four-page plan” for job creation:

[R]educe taxes on individuals, corporations and capital gains earnings, make permanent a research and development tax credit, enact medical malpractice reform, pass a law codifying President Barack Obama’s proposal to require cost-benefit analysis in the creation of government regulations, increase federal loan guarantees for nuclear power, lift restrictions for offshore drilling, ratify trade agreements and overhaul federal work force training programs.

…[M]ove aggressively to reverse the debt, [which] creates uncertainty in the economy, which discourages private investment. [Require] a statutory spending limit, providing Obama with a line-item veto authority and enacting a constitutional amendment forcing Congress to balance the federal budget.

So… we have tax cuts, tax credits, tort reform, deregulation, subsidies for energy companies, deregulation again, more NAFTAs, pretending that structural unemployment is a real thing, and austerity (except for tax cuts, obviously).  Throw in another war and some gay/women/immigrant/Muslim/science-bashing, and you pretty much have… the Republican agenda for the past 30-40 years.  And none of these supposed job-creation strategies do squat to create jobs.

It’s a puzzlement, until you make one little substitution, and change the word “jobs” to “corporate profits.”  Suddenly the Republican “job-creation” agenda makes perfect sense, and all that confusion and cognitive dissonance just melts away like Sarah Palin’s popularity.

It’s a perfect example of the effectiveness of the GOP’s dishonest wordsmithing: If Republicans say that they’re totally committed to doing everything possible to create more corporate profits, they sound like scumbags.  But if they say they’re trying to create more jobs, they sound like humanitarian populists looking out for the downtrodden and OMG why do Democrats hate jobs?

As doublespeak, I’d rank it a little ahead of calling austerity for everyone but the wealthy “shared sacrifice,” and roughly on par with calling giant campaign donations and multimillion-dollar smear ad campaigns “free speech.”  But it still falls short of the GOP’s crowning achievement: Re-branding corporations, teabaggers and billionaires as “the American people.”