Call him Stossmael. Or just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale, a tale of a frightful twit, a wingnut with a sad porn-’stache, talking goofy shit.

John Stossel

Is Seasteading the Future?

For those of you unfamiliar with the concept of “seasteading,” this would be the genius libertarian idea where libertarians finally flee the horrible oppression that is the capital gains tax and decide to go live in the ocean where they establish an aquatic Galt’s Gulch and with any luck whatsoever all get eaten by sharks, who then proceed to poop out libertarians, in the manner of of a University of Chicago of the Bounding Main or similar.

Anyway, Stossel tells us what you should do with a wingnut sailor:

Here’s a novel idea: Escape the suffocating chains of intrusive government by starting your own country!

That’s Patri Friedman’s idea. He comes from an impressive line of libertarian thinkers. Milton Friedman, the Nobel-prize-winning free-market economist, was his grandfather. His father is David Friedman, author of the libertarian classic “The Machinery of Freedom.” Milton Friedman advocated severely limited government. David Friedman thinks we need no government at all. And now Patri believes he has an effective solution to bad government: communities on the ocean surface, or seasteading.

The fourth generation will advocate puddles, and the fifth will brag about how there are unregulated default swaps in its petri dish. Arr!

Anyway “Petri,” or whoever, ultimately wants to inspire swarms of idiots to go live on the Sad Sore-Asso Sea:

Friedman doesn’t expect lots of people to drop everything and start living on the ocean immediately. He writes in the upcoming issue of The Freeman (thefreemanonline.org): “Technology, though, has the potential to make the ocean a feasible alternative for more people. Early pioneers will learn lessons that will make life on the ocean easier, thus prompting previously unwilling pioneers to make the move. Over time, the costs in comfort, safety and access to civilization will fall and the ocean will be just another place to live. This is the path we see on any frontier.”

Stossel says “I will not be among the first to move to a seastead,” which is rather a pity.

Could you assholes please just Go Galt already? Could you kindly discover your Randian pineapple under the sea? Or at least just collectively go stick your heads in some very cold saltwater for a sustained period of time? Go sail away! Go sail away! Go sail away before on your heads I pee!

Because back here on land we recognize that the combined piracy of “the freebooter market” and “Teh Government” is precisely what’s fucking us over with a salty octopus, and what’s killing us is the impossibility of making any of these fuckers walk the plank.