Ross Douthat babbles something about Martians, which is a bit of a relief since he’s not talking about sex (shudder), but is still kinda silly:

If you were a visitor from Mars, watching and Paul Ryan’s Republican response, you would have no reason to think that the looming insolvency of our entitlement system lies at the heart of the economic challenges facing the United States over the next two decades.

He does sort of have a point in that sure, Paulie (“Pignuts”) Ryan talked absolute crap and forgot to mention, whoopsie, must have slipped his mind, he was in a rush, that he wants to junk Medicare; Obama said some hooey about how we are going to “win the future,” presumably in some sort of skee-ball competition in the great big giant ghastly Chuck-E-Goldman-Sachs-Cheese nightmare casino that is the 21st-century American economy; and Zombie Raccoon Michelle Bachmann just mumbled “braiiiiiins” for 40 minutes or so until her maggot-riddled eyeballs plopped out of her hideous skull.

But damn, Douthat, never mind the Martians. If you were a sentient denizen of The Planet Earth, USA, 2011, you were wondering, why isn’t anyone talking about the fucking jobs?

Douthat is a prat, and his fretting about “looming” deficit crises is par for the course. As the AP tells us RIGHT NOW, entitlements like Social Security are WHOO WHOO in DANGER!!!!!!

For funsies, read that link and notice how the latest SS payroll tax break triples the “problem,” and then count the number of paragraphs before you get to the American Enterprise Institute, and then how far you have to slog until you arrive at Bernie Sanders saying something skeptical.

It’s nuts.

Where I live, upstate New York, there is no “looming crisis.” There is a fucking crisis! There’s no jobs! And dammit, the “looming entitlement crisis” of Social Security is going to fucking loom larger if people continue not to have any more jobs, because if you you’re not on a payroll, you’re not paying a payroll tax… it’s kind of wonderfully symmetrical, when you think about it, which it’s probably close to illegal to do.

Anyway, please try to avoid engaging in crazy conspiracy theorizing, as that would not be a productive contribution to civil debate. Did you notice the bipartisan seating arrangements last night, after all? It’s exactly that sort of rearranging of the deckchairs we need to right our foundering ship of state, dammit.