Repulsive garden gnome Gary Bauer:

Few Americans would deny that Judeo-Christian beliefs and values informed the Founding of this country and that they continue to shape much of American life today. Nor would many of us deny that Americans who embrace Islamic values are a distinct minority here.

This is silly. What are the key differences between “Judeo-Christian” and “Islamic” values? They’re all monotheistic, they all get a kick out of God pranking Abraham, they all seem fond of the same real estate, they’ve all been used by the good and the nasty alike to justify goodness and nastiness.

Where precisely one might discover a meaningful ontological split between the “Judeo-Christians” and the Musselmen that one might not also discover betwixt the Judeos and the Christians is a most perplexing kettle of waffles. On this score Bauer offers us no enlightenment, but rather stale, sullen identity politics whining, there’s a shocker.

I raise these two facts because of an emerging reality: that, in a variety of contexts, American Muslims are treated better than American Christians.

Er, sure. And American Muslims are treated well…?

The notion that American Muslims face discrimination, even to the point of violence, is often posited by America’s elites. But that idea evaporates under scrutiny. Remarkably few hate crimes are reported against Muslims (fewer than one-eighth those against Jews). What’s more, Muslim immigration to America has risen sharply since September 11, 2001, and Muslims thrive, economically and educationally, once they arrive.

Whew! (*Cough* Murfreesboro *cough*) I guess it was all a bad dream. And that Bauer begins his column by spewing a blithe “everybody knows” bit of doxa about how “Islamic values” are somehow not “founding American.”

And the evidence of how Christians are Cruelly Oppressed? Here is the choicest bullshit:

If Muslims were treated like Christians, Muslims would be mocked by late night TV talk show hosts and lampooned in crude cartoon parodies.

MOCKED by a LATE NIGHT TV TALK SHOW HOST? My stars! And your Lord n’ Savior complained to his dad because he was only just going to get crucified. Weenie.

These are some pretty weak-assed stigmata. But then also:

If Christianity were treated like Islam, our students would be taught a white-washed version of Christian history, with the troubling bits miscast or omitted from textbooks and lesson plans.

!

If Christians were treated like Muslims, conspicuous Christianity would be celebrated by our elites as a sign of our diversity and open-mindedness, not disparaged as an embarrassment, a nuisance and a breach of the law.

Nabokov, on “themes which are utterly taboo as far as American publishers are concerned”: these include “the total atheist who lives a happy and useful life, and dies in his sleep at the age of 106.”

Exactly.

And as far as the notion that “conspicuous Christianity” is some sort of millstone in modern America, I submit as evidence the noxious little toadstool Gary Fucking Bauer, who has proven conclusively that “conspicuous Christianity” can quite successfully prevent all sorts of sniveling little shits from ever having to do an honest day’s work in all of their squalid detestable lives.