So a 67-year-old man with bipolar disorder shot his TV in the face with a shotgun because he disliked the performance of a contestant on a stupid reality show competition.
This is Big National News because the contestant in question was Bristol Palin, a young woman idolized alike by the Christian Right and Supermarket Tabloids because as a teenager she fucked a guy without using contraceptives. Also she has a preposterous mother who is famous because (1) she might run for elected office; (2) she quit elected office on the grounds that getting rich off twits was a more congenial gig; (3) she was a freighter anchor on another twit’s run for electoral office because she’s kind of a twit except in regards to making twits like her and give her money; and (4) when creepy old twits think about her running for electoral office, they masturbate.
Anyway, apparently, the shotgun to the TV face guy has Confirmed the Wisdom and Justice of the Conservative Worldview, apparently, for reasons that are completely obscure, unless of course, you’re a twit. Hello, Glenn Reynolds.
TAKING PALIN DERANGEMENT SYNDROME TO THE NEXT LEVEL….
But reader John Spaulding writes: “We’ve driven them nuts. Literally.” For some, no driving was necessary. They were close enough to walk already.
Oh that is a Funny Joke, the “driving/walking” thing (sound of thousands of wingnut thighs being slapped by Medicare-provided Mechanical Knee-Slappers.)
The “them” in Insty’s correspondent’s cretinous email message is likely intended to refer to “liberals” — this follows, if you’re using Online Conservative Logic, which is the sort of logic employed by twits who think quoting someone quasi-literate enough to not know what “literally” means makes you not look like an imbecile. (“Liberals are pecans! Filberts! I have always said as much!”)
But, the hell?
Us Liberals know perfectly well what happens when crazy old white men lose their shit and and start blasting away indiscriminately with shotguns. They get acclaimed by twits as foreign policy geniuses! At least, if they took the sensible precautions of first getting rich and powerful and elected to the vice-presidency. That goes without saying.
As for who really gives a shit about Dancing with the Stars, see Amanda. And as for who really gives a shit about the Palins and reality teevee in general, see, uh, me.
I mean, you don’t have to be a Moonbat to see that Reality Teevee is the Palin Clan’s Natural Habitat, far more than the tundra will ever be. You just have to not be a twit.



152 Comments












Support this site!
Subscribe to the newsletter
Advertise on Firedoglake
Send
us your tips
Make us your homepage
About Firedoglake
WedneTHERSday!
thers!
Welcome all the exceptional television viewers to the simulacrum.
Eat or be eaten.
Thersday!
More hilarious tags. I thank you.
THERSday!
Are we on Twitter now? Only a twit would watch Dancing(sic) with the Stars(sic). I mean does anybody else actually ever watch a show that Tucker Carlson appears on?
E-vening.
Thers!
I didn’t watch that crap…any of it…before Bristol or Brothel or Brindle or whatever her name is was on it and her appearance there is just more reason to avoid it. As for TLC: After putting the rest of the trailer trash tycoons on, I’ll never watch any of their programming again. I remember when you could watch “The Learning Channel” and, you know, learn something. All one can learn there these days is that waving a flag and breeding irresponsibly are considered good things by a scary high number of my countrymen.
From Lisa Gutierrez of the KC Star:
William Hung? That’s going to leave a mark.
ditto.
I, like, totally need all the chuckles I can get today!
Hate to comment and run, but I’m beat. Bedtime for this Bonzo.
I’ll come again when I can’t stay so long!
FunnyD
Interestingly, after the guy shot his TV, his IQ shot up 5 points almost immediately. A crack team pf shrinks is still watching for further developments.
We should sue them for false advertising, except they don’t actually use the word “learning” anymore and just go with the initials. You really can get permanent brain damage watching that channel.
Nighters.
Yeah, I think they must have adopted the initials because even they don’t feel right about calling themselves the learning channel anymore.
Billy Hung? LOL!
Maybe be FAUX “News” will send him a new one, since his taste in programming would obviously include their lineup.
The Breeder Channel is more like it. Gosselins and Duggars and Palins, Oh my!
… and sister wives
Yep. I did mention the irresponsible breeding. How can people think that’s a good idea? My gosh, how goddamned many kids do you need?
I only know these shows exist because of The Soup…
I kind of shudder every time I click by that channel.
tlc abdicated learning and is a willing participant in the dumbing down of america
I’m guessing (I mean it, I’m guessing, because I don’t have cable or satellite TV or any of that crap), but I suspect you don’t see many ads for Trojans on TLC.
Exciting science news. Scientists have managed to create and actually store 38 atoms of anti hydrogen. This isn’t as trivial as it sounds. Besides, that’s 8 more atoms than in any of the Palins’ brains.
They advertise that crap on the History channel, the Discovery Channel and Discovery Science. I’ve got a pretty good idea what the programming there is.
I agree with you about irresponsible breeding, but how can we morally control that? There are a few people here who have kids and love them fiercly. As a mother, it’s challenging to imagine how many people have babies who have no reason to. But, again, it’s challenging for me to know how to deal with that. ‘Tis a big problem.
I have been very, very good at not irresponsibly breeding. Just saying.
I never watch it so I wouldn’t know but I suspect not.
I wasn’t suggesting that we control it. I was pointing out that it’s irresponsible of them to do it. People should exercise some self control. I mean contraception isn’t a new concept.
You and I both win the non irresponsible breeding badge of excellence then.
Cool. Next stop, warp drive! I can finally escape from all knowledge of Glenn Beck.
Incidentally, this post title is the Most Clever Use of an Oscar Wilde Quote at FDL Ever.
YAY ME!
Yep. They should rename it the unlearning channel.
Me too. Good thing I have two brothers, or the family line would die with me.
Didn’t think you were. My comment was my opinion.
As I said, I agree. Must be nice to be outside that box, sometimes. You and others.
Just saying, count your blessings. :)
yay thers!
Incidentally, anyone here wanna bet that this gets more total press coverage than Dick Cheney shooting a human being in the face with a shotgun?
I quit after one 37 (almost 38) years ago. Does that count?
I think there will be a few teeny steps before warp drive, (like figuring out exactly how to DO it for example) but it could be important for energy generation in a thousand years or so.
Oddly, there have been times in my life when I would have given anything to have children. I’m not immune to the siren song of reproduction, just incapable of it.
It already has. Pretty safe bet there ‘Puma. :)
I have loads of children around here… make an offer.
Understood. Peg? It’s not odd at all, for me to understand anyway.
I’m a mother. Loud and Proud.
The teabagger Weltanschauung seems to require elevating unqualified candidates to undeserved positions. From that perspective the Bristol DWTS clusterfuck makes perfect sense. These are the same folks who voted for Bush because they thought they could have a beer with him without him making them look stupid.
That question is for you to answer.
Not having offspring frees me to be a great fairy godfather, both in biological relationships and non-biological relationships.
LMAO! Nope. Since I can’t make ‘em, I’m making the best of not having ‘em.
Still trying to breed your brothers, eh? You might be lacking a necessary component but for the life of me I can’t think what. Oh well, hope springs eternal. :)
The same kind of people who vote for somebody based on the perception that “everybody else is” and nothing deeper than that. Let’s forget irresponsible breeding, I’d like a way to put a stop to irresponsible voting.
They are free range!
DWTS is all about showing love to conservatives. They’ve had Tucker Carlson, Tom Delay, and now Bristol Palin, narcissist-in-training.
I thought Dick was reaching out.
Who wants to be contentious with Dr. Dick? One of the nicest people around here. Just my opinion.
Yes, but are they all natural and organic?
They have five kids between them. I don’t need to “try” anything.
I’m afraid we’re stuck with a mostly uninformed alectorate. No matter how carefully you attempt to pour a gallon of knowledge into a thimble for a brain, something spills out. That’s what happened with me anyway.
As I recall, they’re all too young for boob jobs, if that’s what you’re getting at.
They’ve had their shots…
OK, my niters.
g’nite thers
He coulda just cut the cable…like normal people do…
I weep for Sponge Bob!
There is a local couple who have recently filed for divorce. I have no idea what their names are but one or both of them are celebrities of some kind. The local news has led off two days in a row with this story. Tonight it was *gasp*! What about the child/children? Yesterday there was a gas well blowout nearby, forcing evacuations and today there was a gasoline taker rollover on the freeway but in both cases these people LED OFF the local news. This is why I stopped watching local news. Well that and the inevitable blather about “this is going to be (insert sports team here) year to go all the way”. I can see why some people avoid television but one can still find science shows and some good fiction if you know where to look.
I think that since I came in well below replacement rate, that qualifies as responsible. On my father’s side we have never been big breeders. My grandsons are the last lineal male descendants of their great, great, great grandfather.
Night!
I don’t believe that, surely they involved a couple more people in the manufacturing process.
Night Thers. Give it up. I’m not taking your children.
g’niters
Yep. One or two, even three I wouldn’t consider irresponsible. 20? JFC, put a raincoat on it!
Oh, and what the holy fucking hell is wrong with the AFA? They’re actually going after that Medal of Honor winner. They’re offended because he got it for saving lives, not killing tons of people.
Maybe they’d like to espouse their beliefs to the family of William Pitsenbarger.
Hey, a man can hope, can’t hee?
At 20, it is time to cut that sucker off.
Just as well, somebody probably already called dibs on Hansel and Gretel.
Do twits twitter?
Maybe someone will twitter this.
Consider the source. Those are the conservative family values we keep hearing about.
Or tie a knot in it, or a Windsor knot in my case… :)
Yeah I read that. I actually know a couple who raised their two sons using the James Dobson method of paedophelia inspired child rearing. One is 22 and in prison for the rest of his life. The other was finally kicked out of school because he was 18 and hadn’t managed to get past the eighth grade yet.
How are those family values working out for you?
I have a Kuroneko and that’s more than enough responsibility for me.
James Dobson is an evil man. Is he still around?
Bryan Fischer has been watching too many Rambo movies.
Dobson would merely insist that they didn’t beat their children enough.
Only the good die young.
Yep, same with me and Bob. Unlike human progeny he actually appreciates love and kindness.
I have one straight male Canfield nephew, who is last of the line. The other kids will pass a maternal lineage and there’s LOTS of that going on with that segment of the family.
Doesn’t bother me in the least, but does bother my dad. Not having a biological imperative makes for a real different perspective. I just don’t relate to it at all.
Last I heard, he was still polluting the atmosphere with his exhalations.
Is that the channel that has the shows on hoarders?
Sigh. His books are despicable.
No doubt. I stopped going over to their house years ago because of the beatings I saw. They pretty much stopped being friendly with me when I turned down another invitation and when they asked why I told them that if I didn’t see anything, I wouldn’t face the decision of whether to call the cops on them or not.
I hated him in the 80′s and then forgot about him as my children aged. Moral polluter.
And knows when we need some love and kindness back….
Yeah, no idea. He’s still alive I’m sure. I haven’t heard of a national day of keening being forced the Congress yet.
Forced THROUGH the Congress….
Since I was the last descendant in the male line growing up, I got a lot is BS about having a son. Good think I did first time out, because I wasn’t going to try again. We have never been particularly prolific in the female line either. My grandfather had 3 brothers. One died young, one had no children, and the third had a daughter, but I don’t remember if she had any children. May father had 2 brothers, one of whom died in infancy. I think my other uncle was gay, but I do not know for sure since he died in his 30s when I was 8. I have one sister, who has one daughter and a grandson. We seem to have missed that whole be fruitful and multiply train.
Heh, keening — that Irish love of mourning!
Yeah. It’s hard to get worked up over not having a legacy at this point in my life.
Time for me to toddle off. Take care all.
I discovered the perfect Palin 2012 sign for this thread.
Our record is not very special either. Three siblings produced six children, but all of them adorable! Hey Late Night!
g’nite dr (pause) dick
That could be a relatively common thing in the Rocky Mountain West. Your family sounds a lot like mine in Wyo.
My mother’s dad had like seven daughters and one son. And the son is gay. (pretty sure he’s still alive). This guy was a stereotypical American Catholic in that though his only son was gay, he was entirely accepting of him and his partner. Catholics were remarkable open minded and tolerant people until folks like William Donohue came along.
Night DrD. Think I’ll be right behind you.
Oh hunny, we have a legacy. We have TONS of legacy. It’s just not biological.
Just because we aren’t parents doesn’t mean we aren’t important or vital in life.
Yep, he’s a good kid. Still won’t do dishes, though. Guess I’d better mosey out to the kitchen and get started on them. Wishing a pleasant evening to all.
ha!
Murkowski made her election race victory announcement a few minutes ago from a union hall – Laborer’s local 341.
g’nite margaret and rat
Night rattie.
I’m still with you but fading soon.
whoops.. sorry about that margaret
‘K, shoulda said biological legacy. I’ve never been one to be sappy and silly about “being remembered” and so forth though. When I’m done with this shell, I’m outta here. If one does have a cogent “soul” or “spirit”, then I’m on to the next adventure. If not, well it will be different anyway.
No need to be sorry. :)
:)
Well, I think that I will toddle off now. It seems like the conversation has petered out and it’s getting cold outside and I’m anxious to get under the covers. Oya kaji koinu.
g’nite margaret
We now have an organic supermarket. The green revolution is rolling here in SLO County CA. 30,000 plus square feet a site to behold. You name it they have it. Even fresh pizza, Italian ice bar, range feed beef and red label seafood. Today 5% was donated to the homeless shelter too.
Peg, we’re leaving a different and better world on the discrimination front. It doesn’t need to be an individual legacy. That’s all I’m saying.
But it’s US that is leaving it at least one step better than it was a generation ago.
Many steps better and I applaud your determination.
I watched Thers intro and said out loud to myself .. “what a totally fucked up society” .. then I read the comments, and found myself laughing with all of you and then I checked out your tag and almost pee’d my pants .. thanks for that .. I shall join immediately .. am in Northern BC so I feel yer pain across the mountains ..
Very funny!
Any news yet? Today or this week?
tomorrow late afternoon
Only if you’re using a thousand dollar shotgun to shoot nearly flightless domesticated quail-tards. Foreign policy geniuses know how to pick their battles.
I will be in Canada, leave FB news!
will be up there and on my website
Sigh. No edit, so no chance to correct pronouns. Change “you’re” to “they’re” and this comment will start to make sense…
Well said. The power is in the energy ripples. Progeny happens, whether the next generation is our DNA or not.
You never know the trail you’re building until you can look back. If you’re lucky enough to have those trails visible in your lifetime.
Gul-darned Librul thinks we stupid and laff at us but you wait you see what we bring to yer house party we read constiushun that make us smarter anyday than Oscar Wilde pop culture overlay thing.
Super!
The Palins: restoring American honor one unplanned pregnancy at a time.
Kelly! I miss you!
i read something last week — or was it the week before — about bristol’s ‘weight gain’ wondering if it is junk food or another baby bump… dang, wish i could remember the where…
Ovation — Jimi, are you experienced?
love ya, terloch7!
They won’t know until they burp her.
i wish i had more than basic cable ;(
Yes, welcome!
MrCE’s indulgence. Forever!
I’m here! *waves*
Hey Darling! I worked late tonight doing a program with our medieval facsimile manuscripts. Lovely, but I’m exhausted!
“Jezebel.com” ?
I was shocked when I turned on NPR to hear Bowles and SImpson threaten to have a permanenrt Cat Food Commission while extolling the virtues of wealth transfer plan.
or maybe gawker? could be either one of them…. or maybe it was an la based entertainment site…
Well, how the hell is everyone? Jeez, we need youtube now more than ever!
For the Palinette what lives in all of us:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qSn8BdmYKC4
Sounds delightful.
Working a fraud case right now. Boo, I hate that.
I’ve had to dissuade my 16 yro, Bi-polar son from blowing up either his PsP, XBox, and/or PS3, from time to time…! Did somebody drop the ball on that 67 yro…? ;-)
Better yet…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pMDn6V7ZLhE
That sucks, totally!
I don’t watch the show, but I’ve read about every single contestant, male and female, losing significant amounts of weight because of the show.
Except for Bristol. She looks very puffy.
If he was diagnosed, then it’s certainly possible. Someone living alone can go for quite a while with no visitors.
*sigh* Hermit about sums it up…! His older sibs(Sis’s) are the life of the party, otoh…! Go figure…! ;-)
At about the same parallel as Ft. McMurray, across the opposite mtn. range…? ;-)
South in Pr George .. spent many a year in the very north .. retired south a ways .. 6″ of snow today and blowing ..got to love it .. renders life down to a shovel and an mp3 player with good tunes .. *warm smile*
How come y’all all time be talkin’ shit about the cute little spokeswoman for teen abstinence? :o)
Think of the judges…If Bristol doesn’t win, there could be more than TV’s suffering 12 guage retribution…and they know it. :o)
Besides, I’ve seen worse dancers…plus, I’m enjoying Joe Miller’s eating his tea party shorts, courtesy of Sarah.
The entire mooseturd soap opera is getting so trailer-trash crazy that I’m thinkin’ they ought to all be up on Mt. Rushmore.
The plastic replica in Disneyworld, that is.
The palins belong on tv…keep them on tlc 24/7 with the other teabags…as long as she and her teabag friends don’t get into office I’m happy.
Maybe we should have her guest star on the lockup series. Put the crazy ***** in san quentin with the rest of her klan and be done with them.
Maybe this is palins economic stimulus plan.
Get crazy people so worked up that they shoot their tvs forcing them to buy new tvs which keeps retailers and tv manufacturers in business……
GENIUS!
Oh and if Bristol doesn’t win dancing with the stars it will just be another example of liberal media bias oppressing strong conservative womens first ammendment rights.