I got a phone call last night from a seminary classmate. An old college friend of hers had just committed suicide, likely fueled by hopelessness and depression at the end of a bitter divorce fight. The friend’s ex asked my classmate to share the news with whatever other college friends ought to know about it, and my classmate had hit the wall. “These are tough calls to make, and I need to vent to someone else. Have you got some time to talk?”
I did. Actually, I didn’t, but I made time — a couple of hours’ worth.
Then came this morning’s paper:
Suicides among Army and Air National Guard and Reserve troops have spiked this year, and the military is at a loss to explain why.
Sixty-five members of the Guard and Reserve took their own lives during the first six months of 2010, compared with 42 for the same period in 2009. The grim tally is further evidence that suicides continue to plague the military even though it’s stepped up prevention efforts through counseling and mental health awareness programs.
“Suicides among military personnel and veterans are at an epidemic rate, and it’s getting worse,” said Tim Embree, a former Marine who served two tours in Iraq and is now a legislative associate for Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America, an advocacy group.
Last week, the Army announced that 32 soldiers, including 11 in the Guard and Reserve, took their own lives in June, a rate of one a day and a level not seen since the Vietnam War, according to the military.
Seven of the suicides occurred in Iraq or Afghanistan.
The worrisome trend is reflected in Missouri, where the state Army and Air National Guards have suffered six suicides so far this year, their highest total in a decade. They account for nearly a quarter of the 27 suicides experienced since the Missouri Guard started keeping records in 2001. . .
Explanations are hard to come by. The suicides could have nothing — or everything — to do with the victims’ military service.
“It is the separation from our families, it is the lack of a support structure in our personal lives sometimes, financial challenges, relationships — we know that,” Navy Adm. Mike Mullen, the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, said during a recent talk about the suicide problem to troops in South Korea.
Mullen is exactly right.
Look at Katrina.
Look at the economy.
Look at the BP oil spill. (See Edward Teller’s moving Seminal diary, drawing on his experience in Alaska following the Exxon Valdez spill.)
Desperate times and desperate circumstances lead desperate people to take their own lives. Suicide has many causes, and it seems that each victim has his or her own mix of issues and pressures that led them to kill themselves. Whatever the specifics of each case are, the two aftereffects of suicide are the same in every case: someone is dead, and the lives of their family and friends and neighbors are twisted with grief and often guilt.
I’ll leave the last word to Shannyn Moore, from her post “Dying Over Oil” (h/t ET):
I know what it is to go from being a fisherman to an oil spill response contractor. I did it in 1989. It feels as dirty as the beaches–like you’ve just made a deal with the devil. The term “Spillionaire” that was thrown around to describe those who made money from the clean up effort doesn’t make up for salt sea spray on your face and the promise of full nets.
Domestic violence, bankruptcy, alcoholism, and collective depression washed up for years following the Exxon Valdez crisis. Twenty one years later, the herring fishery in Cordova is still decimated – genetic lines of fish erased.
This is only the beginning. Being a fisherman isn’t what you do, it’s who you are – the Gulf of Mexico or Prince William Sound is just geography. The toughest fishermen can’t win; they drown in court. The erosion of identity is invisible compared to the black wake of an environmental oil disaster. My father told me suicide was a permanent answer to a temporary problem. The BP disaster isn’t temporary though. There is no end in sight.
Take care of each other.
Go read her whole post. Then give your kid a hug, your neighbor a visit, and your friend across the country a call.
Take care of each other, my friends.
(photo: GarySmith70)
* * *
The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention has lots of helpful information for those who are concerned about this issue, including warning signs of suicide and knowing how to respond to them.
If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). It’s free, confidential, and they’ve got a national network of 130 crisis centers to help. If that’s too much to remember, just call 911.



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A fracking bad economy? Their family losing their homes if you poor enough to need the army to pay for college chances are your family is poor enough to risk losing their homes?
Troops whose parents are unemployed get shafted their parents lose their homes and the GOP does nothing but stall on approving unemployment benefits.
Added your post in a comment to mine I focused on the Immigrants and Unemployed I forgot the troops, I forgot everyone hurt in ripple effects by unemployment being denied and their being no jobs. Unless you want to work on a farm at less than a living wage. Thankfully my Sister is letting me stay rent free.
http://seminal.firedoglake.com/diary/61086
Crisis is the True Test of Morality its easy to be good and help people when the times are good its harder to be good and help people when times are bad and people really need help.
And it is not very uplifting to be in a distant land killing people….why do we not get that? 10 years of war and we expect peace. How sad and crazy is that?
Depressing but people need to think about this. Reach out to Vets, friends who are troubled. Tough times. And really tough for people who have been sent to wars on packs of white fat cats lies.
The military is lying. I wrote about this several times for my Bush scandals list. Note the dates in the following excerpt:
Suicide means you had felt Despair and that nobody could or would help you. I am not saying if we all tried harder we could stop all suicides.
But if we all worked harder we could reduce the number of suicides. Every Suicide shows that we are less than perfect. Every Suicide brings the question could I have done more somehow.
Cross linked your comment to my post I want to increase this message getting out there more.
Yes. Mullen left out the most crucial factor, guilt. This is really what PTSD is about in the majority of the cases, and I have no doubt in these suicides.
Thank you for documenting this. I too immediately thought, “the military is lying” and am glad you took the time to back up my inclination with dates.
Of course, the wide range of topics on which ‘the military is at a loss to explain why’ makes this a little like shooting fish in a barrel. On what topic is the military NOT at a loss to explain why, really?
Peterr. My condolences. Death of loved ones by suicide leaves such a painful legacy.
Or, as far as Guard/Reserve troops go, it might have something to do with employers not giving them their jobs back as required by law.-which I had thought was in force at least as far back as 1968 when I got fired just before going into the AF so they would not have to give me my job back-turns out it is a fairly recent law, but nonetheless it is the law-for now. There is currently a court fight going on with this law, if the employer wins, the numbers in the Guard/Reserves are going to drop, a lot. Which in turn would totally screw up the active force deployment scheme.
I say, Bring back the draft. With no exemptions. Everyone, male and female when they reach 18 goes into the service. For a total of 6 years. 2-4 years active and 2 years reserve.
Our country has gotten to the point where we have a professional military with less than 1% of americans having themselves or a family member in the military. This is not sustainable. A professional military, at the low wages paid by the govt, can not continue. Neither can a much higher paid mercenary force, paid for by the govt, at very high wages-like $500 to $1500 a day for example.
The corporate US apparently needs to have the largest standing military in the world, yet at the same time the sheeple would much rather not be involved or have a close relative involved so that when soldiers are killed or wounded they can dismiss them because after all, they don’t know them.
While the draft might have been many things, it did keep the people involved, whether on the side of war or on the side of getting the hell out, people were involved.Granted, it was not a fair system, with all the reasons that the rich/powerful could use to keep their kids out(bush/quale in their state guards, cheney who used education, as did clinton to escape)With a return of the draft we could also get back lots more people going to college, thru use of the GI bill. That was used a lot by draftees after Vietnam, If we had had the draft I do not believe that the Iraq war would have happened, or, if it had, bush would have lost in 04 simply because he put the nations youth at risk.
With over 99% of our society uninvolved in our military adventures, what is to prevent a corp from buying enough votes to get our Army to invade a country so that corp can take over its resources? IMPO that was the reason for Iraq, except that most of the corps involved were not american-the 7 sisters(big oil)-and the fact that the Iraqis out snookered both big oil and our own oil ministers(bush/cheney) which unfortunately does not mean that it could not happen again-think Iran, the smoke signals are rising for invasion once more-big oil?-and while the neocons are pushing hard, so is the rethug party and, shamefully, many democrats. To stop wars(unnecessary wars) bring back the draft. Let the sons and daughters of the rich and powerful serve with the poor.(Elvis did, didn’t he?)
I think the military is saying “we’re at a loss as to why this spike has happened,” not why suicides happen in general.
Ask a Vet about Neglect
Remember all the years that passed by and finally the lawsuit that had to be brought before our government would pay to help our own solders sprayed with Agent Orange?
Maybe you have heard about the Thing with No Name that some of our solders picked up in Saudi?
It sickens our solders
Yet of course this disease does not exists its only in the Solders minds. The government Bureacrats say to our Nation’s Shame. As they refuse to pay medical treatments to our brave solders who foolishly thought we actually cared.
Now I know that some of you will get angry and in a knee jerk response say that you really do care
But think about it
If you really did care then wouldn’t you get off your lazy butts and demand that our Congressmen start doing what’s right and fair?
Not only for our Solders but for the people sleeping in the street and everyone else in need?
But you won’t do a thing about it. I know you won’t
You’ll drink a beer instead and wave a flag
Hell you might even vote but why do you bother?
When the only issues you think about are the ones they put on tv?
I bet you don’t even know what the issues are until election time.
For lets be honest you don’t care about the issues for if you did wouldn’t you volunteer your time and your money and do something?
But you don’t care do you the TV has always told you what you wanted.
I wrote this poem for Amy a strawberry Blond who had just come back from the first Gulf War after College Final Exams we were drinking and she said she was going to the Doctor the next day she thought she had Gulf War Sickness.
I spent weeks worrying about her before I saw her in summer school and she said she just had the flu major relief on my part:)
The Girl was a Lesbian so no sex but having a girl listen and understand like a guy just how frustrating girls can be was great.
I think Gays and Lesbians were put on this earth to help men and women understand each other. Anyway I told her this is her poem so I’m giving the girl credit where ever she maybe.
My friend Nez used to say that depression is anger turned inward. Forgiveness is such a difficult thing. Especially forgiving ourselves. Sad tale.
I think that we call be mirrors for each other.
Exactly.
Peter, thank you for this post. I’m glad your college mate has such a kind friend as you.
Peterr: (((hug))) And thank you for sharing this story that needs to be told.
My best friend committed suicide 29 years ago and I am still haunted by so many questions and doubts. We lived in different cities about 300 miles apart and communicated on a hit and miss basis with longer and longer periods stretching out between hits. I hadn’t seen him for six months when the phone rang. His wife told me what happened. He didn’t leave a note. To this day, I don’t know why he killed himself, how long he thought about it before he did it, or whether I could have made a difference. Twenty-nine years later I still have a hole in my heart and a lot of questions without any answers.
I am consciously trying to live the Golden Rule today, and speaking from that perspective, I think all of us need to stop and think for awhile about our obligations to others that flow from the rule. Take responsibility for being your brother’s and sister’s keeper. You can’t live their lives for them and you shouldn’t even try, but you can stay in touch and provoke communication that penetrates to the soul.
Consider refining your listening skills and encourage others to talk. Find a quiet place. Listen to what they say without passing judgment and observe their body language. Focus all of your attention on them. Ask questions to keep them going and don’t allow any outside interruptions like phone calls. No TV or radio. Just let them talk and for God’s sake, don’t interrogate and don’t share what they tell you with other people. Confidentiality builds trust. Be genuine and express unconditional love.
Maybe it will make a difference and maybe it won’t, but both of you will benefit and become better people by earnestly practicing the art of listening.
I fear the worst is yet to come and many of us will not survive the horror. We need each other. As Southern Dragon says, “Be kind to each other.”
Namaste.
I know that when I hated the world and everybody and everything in it, it turned out that what I was really hating was myself. I think that is a very apt description of depression.
Good words and great advice, Mason. Thank you.
After I went through a particularly deep depressive period about 10 years ago, I was able to be empathetic to others suffering from depression. It was one good thing that came out of that time.
I’m hip. It’s easy to tell who depression has affected just by their empathy for other sufferers.
You know, everyone needs lifting up from time to time. And, really, how hard is it to tell someone “Hey, you’re a survivor. You can do this.” Or, “You’re smart, you can figure this out. And, you have friends who will help you.”
Suicides happen for a variety of reason. Most of us know that today might not be so good but that there is a chance that tomorrow will be better or maybe even great. Suicides don’t see that. LIfe becomes grey and frightening. I have read about people who are suicidal who say that they lose their sense of taste and smell. Nothing brings them joy. We need to be aware of these unhappy souls and gently try to help. Sometimes we can but need to face the fact that sometimes we can’t.
Your explanation of seeing a brighter tomorrow is the dynamic that is lacking for teens/young people. They can’t quite think or see the turn-around to come….and alot of our troops are really young kids, sadly.
Right you are, Twain. You’re a good woman.
Apparently too hard for the vast majority of conservatives.
THanks, Demi. Having experienced 4 suicides in my life, I know that sometimes just nothing can be done.
I have to think that being at a point where suicide is spiking means we’ve made a lot of policy decisions along the way that might have each only made some small difference in peoples lives. Now, for many people, they combine to make life seem to be intolerable. Suicide is a symptom of social sickness and the only real remedy is correcting the contributing factors.
Speaking for myself, I can say that when oblivion seems the more attractive option, it’s time to get help. Life must be harsh indeed for the true believer who is convinced that suicide equals an eternity of exquisite suffering for that to seem like the more attractive alternative to continuing to exist in this world.
True but Gays and Lesbians are bridges between the sexes hearing a woman agree with you helps because sometimes you think its all your fault and your being unreasonable just because your a guy.
Its cool to realize that some woman fishing in the same pond also have complaints about fish that won’t bite.
Seconded!
I don’t see a better tomorrow because I see a confluence of bad stuff, including, but not limited to global warming, economic collapse, class warfare, civil war, joblessness, no safety net, starvation, disease, and death.
I recommend caution using the better-tomorrow advice as you might not be taken seriously.
If there is no better tomorrow it won’t be because we did not Rage at the Dying of the Light!
Just being alive means that you can change things – lots of things. In fact, things change without your help and you might just want to be around to see what happens.
All we can do is try and help people and yes we can all try harder. Even that Schindler guy who did so much to help at the end regretted not trying more.
I’m doing farm work at my age never having done it before waiting for my stocks and condo to go up in value trying to preserve my remaining cash.
I thank God I’m lucky enough to have found a job and that I’m strong enough to work it.
Last night I watched a film on Hulu about psychological problems experienced by soldiers after returning from Iraq.
http://www.hulu.com/home-of-the-brave It was a drama, not a documentary. Still, I thought they did a fairly good job.
My son who is bi-sexual has written a stand up comedy bit that includes the fact that on any given Saturday night, he has twice the possibilities for success but also twice the potential for rejection. :)
Where oh where are all those conservatives now who used to rabbit on about “support the troops”?? Now that a Democrat (allegedly) is POTUS, I haven’t heard one thing about supporting the troops, esp from Republicans. Yet they used to chant it almost daily under W.
That’s one of the sadder things these days. How quickly the troops are dropped from public view when it’s no longer convenient to use them as a cudgel.
Go to any Stand Down in your community (if they have one) support Vets; it’s an eye-opening experience. Many Vets come back and there is no place for them, esp in these times. Support for troops magically vanishes once they’re back and they’re not part of the “making money for billionaires” game. It’s really too bad.
Sorry to hear about your friend. Suicide is never easy to comprehend but is often caused by severe depression. Condolecences. Peace… om shanti om.
An exceptionally high divorce, bankruptcy and suicide rate are inevitable outcomes of the massive oil pollution spewing into the entire Gulf Coast region. Water being water, that pollution won’t stay in the Gulf for long and it will carry with it such woes, though likely at a rate that declines with distance.
As with the decades long fights against recognizing such harms as PTSD and Agent Orange, the cause of such woes, in this case, BP, its suppliers, its lobbyists and the governments they lobby and co-opt, are likely to disavow knowledge of and responsibility for such harm. We shouldn’t let them get away with that, either.
I am not giving advice. I am pointing a contrast between younger folks who have less capacity for anticipation and the reality that things can change than folks who have been around the block a few times.
Agree. The person who posts here as Edward Teller has provided factual info, sadly, about the high suicide rate in AK after the Exxon-Valdez oil spill, and that was, also sadly, much less deleterious than the Deepwater Horizon oil volcano.
Whatever the reasons for suicide, the reality is that there is a failure of society, friends and family and the individual to communicate sufficiently to be heard, understood, and valued. When you can accept the two realities that no one is perfect along with everyone hurts everyone and everyone is responsible then, it is all more understandable. Most failed marriages are a result of some rejection of these two realities. The are enough people in this world who exist solely for the purpose of wounding others, we do not need the accidental or neglectful occurrences but they are inevitable. Learn to forgive yourself and work to forgive others and let it be shown by your actions more than you do today and we make progress.
Notice the quickie side-effects notice on all the commercials: increased risk of suicide.
If a loved one is placed on anti-depressants, PLEASE be very aware of any behavioral changes. Watch especially closely when they are first medicated, and be sure they are taken regularly. If there are issues, they should be weaned off under proper medical supervision – never stop cold turkey. We lost my BIL this year due to improper medication.
I think what suicide displays is lack of hope. People can go through a lot if they see some hope of getting to the end of it.
When you’re stop-lossed in a perpetual war, it’s hard to see that end.
If you do manage to get out, and come home to a country that seems to have few opportunities for employment, it’s hard to have hope.
When you see your government behave fecklessly when the economy is going south and there’s a huge part of the country being overwhelmed by an ecological disaster, it’s hard to have hope, or see the end.
So, until we have some real reason for hope, we’re all going to be down.
Thankfully, one of life’s pleasures is making other peoples’ lives better. If we can do that occasionally, maybe things won’t be so bad.
Hope and hard work made the American middle class. The powers that be are hoping we’ll make do with the hard work.
Indeed. This “spill”, this devastating befoulment of land and sea, will wreak havoc on more than BP’s lobbying budget.