I caught the drug-addicted draft dodging thrice divorced sex tourist on the radio the other day, and he had an interesting theory about Toyota and their unexpected acceleration recalls.

Apparently, we have people who were “accidentally” flooring the accelerator when they “thought” they were hitting the brakes. Or were they a bunch of people advised by a bunch of lawyers, go out there and floor the accelerator and when you have the crash tell examiners that your foot was on the break and you couldn’t stop the car. … Could it be the whole thing was trumped up?

No. My family and I could’ve been killed in our 2007 Sienna—which, incidentally, is not on Toyota’s recall list.

Here’s what happened. I was using cruise control when the car suddenly redlined and would not stop, despite my repeatedly hitting the brakes. The car continued to accelerate aggressively and only after putting the car in neutral did I regain control.

It was terrifying experience and we were lucky no one was hurt—we were on a small country road, there was traffic coming in the opposite direction and there were ditches on both sides. Had the timing been different, we might be all dead. Me, my wife and my small children.

No Toyotas for me, ever again.

Now the notion that I imagined the whole thing or was actually hitting the accelerator and not the brake or was somehow put up to this by a greedy liberal attorney is perverse. But a perverse worldview is what’s required to believe that large corporations are, by definition, benevolent and always blameless—because the free market makes them so.

So go to hell, Rush. And if you’re so upset that “Democrats in Congress” are being so mean to Toyota, go buy one, get your fat ass in the driver’s seat — and take a nice, long drive.

(audio courtesy of Media Matters)