I just can’t make up my mind – which Republican statement from the week so far was the most embarrassing? Sure, John Boehner threw out some gems, but let’s not minimize the contributions from Kentucky and Illinois Senate candidates Rand Paul and Mark Kirk, who have both shown great promise in this particular field. Here are your choices, please feel free to vote in the comments, or to suggest write-in candidates of your own:
A) John Boehner lamenting that “They’re snuffing out the America that I grew up in.” Since he was born in 1949, one can only conclude that he pines for the good ol’ days before Roe v. Wade, Medicare, the Civil Rights Act and the Clean Water Act came along and spoiled everything.
B) Boehner again, colorfully describing the financial reform bill as “killing an ant with a nuclear weapon.” As opposed to, say, trying to take down a T. Rex with a slingshot.
Ensuring there’s enough money to pay for the war will require reforming the country’s entitlement system, Boehner said. He said he’d favor increasing the Social Security retirement age to 70 for people who have at least 20 years until retirement, tying cost-of-living increases to the consumer price index rather than wage inflation and limiting payments to those who need them.
I’m gonna pass on the age of the earth. I think I’m just gonna have to pass on that one.
E) Mark Kirk, after weeks of denying that he was serially lying about his military service:
I have made mistakes concerning certain aspects of my accomplishments and experience and I apologize for those mistakes and I pledge to correct those errors. I am not perfect and was careless. I will do better and I will make sure that this never happens again.
And that’s just the politicians. Don’t even get me started on all the right-wing creeps gloating about Robert Byrd’s death and suggesting that his KKK past somehow proves that the Democrats are the racist party, instead of the party that made a deliberate strategic decision to woo the racists away (tell me again about Faustian bargains, Mr. Brooks).